The Search For A Couple

In August of '96, I placed an ad in the classified section at TASC. The first couple I met was fabulous!! We hit it off right away and met at a local mall a week after they contacted me. I couldn't believe how lucky I was to have met "the ones" so quickly! We agreed to work together, if their last IVF failed. It was their 6th try and they did not expect it to be successful. Four days after our meeting, she wrote and told me that her pregnancy test was positive!!! She couldn't believe it! I was so happy for her, and yet, a little disappointed at having to start all over. (Note: She had a baby boy the following May!!! He is beautiful! She sent me his picture in a Christmas card, last year!) My disappointment quickly faded and the search began again.

Over the course of the next 10 months, I met many, many couples, 2 of which I thought might be "the ones", but, it never seemed to work out. Most often, it was because I did not want to have an abortion or a reduction under any circumstances and most couples want to keep that option open. Eventually, I learned to discuss these and other important issues right away to avoid getting too close, should it turn out that we weren't compatible. The last couple, whom I was tentatively matched with, decided that they were not financially prepared to begin and would need several more months...possibly a year to save up. We decided to part ways and, if I was still "available" when they were ready, we would proceed from there.

By this point, I had become very frustrated with my independent search. So often, I would get to know and really like a couple and then, for some reason, it ended up not working out. I finally decided to sign on with an agency in June, 1997. That way, I could just tell the agency what I wanted in a surrogacy arrangement and what issues were important to me and they could match me up with someone with similar views and desires.