Is Surrogacy for you?

by: Jenn Z.


 



Only a very caring and unselfish person would even consider becoming a surrogate mother. The rewards of giving such an incredible gift are great, but, so are the stresses and the sacrifices. Being a surrogate is not easy and it is not for everyone. So, how do you know if it is for you? The best advice we can give is to think hard about the many ways being a surrogate will affect your life and do a little soul searching.

Below, we have listed several important issues you should take into account when you are trying to decide if becoming a surrogate is for you. If, after considering everything in this article, you are still interested in becoming a surrogate and you think you would be a good candidate, we wish you the best of luck in making your lucky couple's dreams come true!

Your Physical Health

  • How is your health in general?
  • Do you have any long-term illnesses that might prevent you from successfully carrying a pregnancy to term?
  • Do you have a good reproductive history?
  • Did you conceive easily?
  • Were your pregnancies and deliveries reasonably easy and without complications?

Your Support System

  • If you are married, does your husband support your decision to be a surrogate?
  • If you are not married, do you have someone who you can talk to for support during the surrogacy?
  • If your children are old enough to understand surrogacy, are they comfortable with the idea of you becoming a surrogate?
  • How will it make you feel if/when you are confronted by others who may disapprove of your being a surrogate?
  • How will it make you feel if/when your children are confronted by others who may disapprove of your being a surrogate?

Emotional Issues

  • Can you be reasonably sure that you are capable of giving up a child that you will carry for 9 months?
  • In traditional surrogacy, you will be the child's genetic mother. Will it be difficult for you to let go of a child that you have a genetic link to?
  • Will becoming a surrogate cause problems within your marriage?
  • Will becoming a surrogate cause a great amount of stress in your relationships with those closest to you (family, friends, coworkers, etc.)?
  • As with any pregnancy, there is always a possiblity of complications which could result in fertility problems for you down the road. How would it make you feel to no longer be able to have children as a result of the surrogacy? How would it affect your marriage?

Medical Issues

  • If you will be a gestational surrogate, are you prepared for the medical protocol, which will require daily injections?
  • The chances of a multiple pregnancy are increased in gestational surrogacy. How do you feel about carrying multiples?
  • How would you feel if your doctor requires you to drastically reduce your activity or go on bedrest in the event of a high-risk or multiple pregnancy?

Decision Making

  • If it was discovered that the child you are carrying has a physical defect, how will you feel about terminating the pregnancy? (Note: If you would not be comfortable terminating the pregnancy, it does not mean that you will not make a good surrogate. It only means that you need to find a couple who agrees with your point of view.)
  • If you become pregnant with multiples, how would you feel about selective reduction? (Note: As with abortion, if you are not comfortable with reduction, it is important that you find a couple who shares your views.)


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