There are women that become mothers without effort, and though they are good mothers and love their children, I know that I will be better.

I will be a better mother not because of genetics, or money or that I have read better books. But because I have struggled and toiled for this child. I have longed and waited.

I have endured and planned over and over again. Like most things in life, the people who truly have appreciation are those who have struggled to attain their dreams.

I will notice everything about my child. I will take the time to watch my child sleep, explore and discover. I will marvel at this miracle everyday for the rest of my life.

I will be happy when I wake in the middle of the night to the sound of my child, knowing that I can comfort, hold and feed and that I am not waking to give myself another injection of profasi and cry tears of a broken dream - my dream will be crying for me.

I count myself as lucky in this sense, that God has given me this insight, this special vision with which I will look upon my child that my friends will not see.

Whether I parent a child I give birth to or a child God leads me to..... I will not be careless with my love. I will be a better mother for all that I have endured.