depression during pregnancy ?

[iluvCD]

Today has been REALLY hard for me. I cant stop crying. I took Amelias blanket she was wrapped in and just held it and cried.
I am also feeling very isolated and alone. I live a hour away from my kids. (whose dad will never drive them to me) and I have not 1 single friend here in Covington. They are in Athens, Snellville/ Lawrenceville area. Both a hour away. Rebeka Rose is over a hour.
My DH has gone on 2 fun "work" related trips since May and has another in August. He also has softball and golf practice 3 nights a week. I feel like I NEVER see him and with me not working it is causing much stress financially and no extra gas money for me to slowly start doing things with my friends.
I am happy for him to do things but today he called me while at Turner Field at the Braves. His company owns season tickets and he got to go along with 3 co-workers. I burst into tears. I told him I was hurt and angry. Last weekend he was out clubbing and dancing with co-workers during a 4 day golf tournament. I just sit here and grow a baby and feel guilty that maybe it was too soon after losing Amelia and feel like I have barely a life with my kids, my friends.All my hobbies are gone due to this damn SCH!
yes, I have gotten to do a few things here and there, but I just sit here day after day and am alone. Today I found my self wishing I wasnt pregnant.....
I cant believe I am saying that, but it is honest. This is the first day I felt this way and it frightens me.....
I miss my life before I was pregnant, I miss Amelia, I am jealous that Chris is doing EVERYTHING fun without me and I am angry he gets defensive when I bring it up.
My son Sabastian is struggling in life and I feel like I cant help him. I feel so overwhelmed.
I am wondering if I am depressed. One day I am on top of the world and today I feel like I am drowning in sorrow.....
Have any of you ladies felt this way or dealt with this?
I plan on mentioning this to my dr. on the 28th.
Have you ever experienced depression or "lows" during pregnancy? How did you handle it?
Thanks,
Robin

[jen]

If you're in Covington KY I would love to get together! That's not really far from me.

Hugs to you!!

[kmoore86]

(((hugs))) I'm sorry you're feeling so down. I think maybe you should tell your ob how you're feeling. I'm not sure exactly what's "normal" when you're pregnant. The first trimester is always hard for me emotionally, but I think it's the hormones. I've never thought I was depressed BUT anything could make me cry at the drop of a hat. A stranger telling me to have a nice day, a tv commercial, dh getting off work late, etc. But if you think what you're feeling isn't normal then you shouldn't keep it to yourself. It may continue to get worse I hope you start to feel better soon.

[Rebekah Rose]

Hugs sweetie... if this has been going on for more than just a couple days here and there I agree its worth talking to your OB about. You should not suffer in silence.

And, just FYI, Kenneth is leaving town for about 2 weeks next Wednesday and I have I think the 2 weekends after this one free and would LOVE to come see you if you want some company one day!!! HUGS!!

[twinlioness]

I'm so sorry you are feeling this way and I cant offer any advice, but your feelings are totally understandable and I pray things will start to look up fo ryou. Perhaps your DH doesnt understand the depths of your sorrow and maybe you could talk to him and let him know how badly you need his supprt. HUgs.

[ktbmom]

I am so sorry you are feeling this way.
I have a friend who is pregnant with her second child and was actually so depressed that she was put on leave from work and was basically on a suicide watch- she couldn't be left alone. And she had not recently been through anything traumatic, so I can only imagine how likely it would be for someone in your situation to feel upset.
While I am absolutely not saying you will be like her, I am just throwing that out there to show how crazy preggo hormones make us, I really think you should talk to your ob about it asap. It is important to take care of yourself, the baby, and to feel good about life. Sending you big hugs...

[my3sons]

Why don't you give your OB a call??? You really don't have to wait until your appt.

You are dealing with 2 very conflicting emotional issues. On top of bedrest and everything else, what you're feeling is very understandable.

Please don't beat yourself up when you have any negative feelings. Ronan would have been here by now and there have been a few times when I'm glad I don't have a newborn on top of Samantha when she starts screaming (which is few and far between, she really is a good baby)

I feel like a horrible person when I have any of the 'it's for the best' feelings.

We do what we can...what we need..to make it through. Be gentle on yourself.

[twinkiesmom]

Dear Robin:

First, last, & all thru this post: BIG HUGS.

I'm so sorry you are feeling so much pain. It sounds like there are many difficult things going on in your life right now: Amelia's death, being pregnant w/ a SCH & worrying about that, worrying about your son, being separated from your children, not having a good support system ...

I agree that you should discuss this w/ your OB, but that appointment is a week away. Do you have somebody you could talk w/ now? Like a minister or a therapist or calling your OB today to get a referral? You must take care of yourself.

And if your OB suggests a course of antidepressants, don't worry. There is good data supporting safety of these meds during pregnancy. You must take care of yourself in order to be able to take care of the baby.

Please be kind to yourself. You are going thru so much. Sometimes the bravest thing you can do is to ask for help, the way you are reaching out here.

[angelmama]

I agree with so many others posts. Hugs.
Are you in KY?? I am not that far and I would drive to hang out..

[iluvCD]

Thank you all for your kind and encouraging words. You ladies have really helped me by your posts...
I live in Covington Georgia.
Rebekah, I would LOVE to see your beautiful glowing self

Tonight I broke down when Chris got home. He has agreed to put the house on the market this week. I told him that I need the support of friends and family(dad lives in Snellville) when baby arrives. His sister announced they will be moving to Athens soon so when I go to see my kids, we can visit them. The housing market really stinks right now but I will pray and hope for the best. He is afraid to rent the house as the last tenent trashed it. He listened and we talked for awhile. He admitted he would hate being in my position. I have never asked him to stop any of his passions or hobbies and he has never aske me to stop mine.
I just need this SCH to clear up.....I need to get back to work.

I noticed I have really high flying days and then really low days. We also missed our last grief therapy session so i'm sure that didnt help. I leave there with such peace. I will discuss all of this with Dr. Hood for sure.
I am afraid to mention it to parents or pastors. I dont like to admit that I am weak, but today I told Chris thats how I feel.
One day at a time........ Natalie, I wish we were closer.
Thank you for listening and replying.
I have found great support here.
Love,
Robin

[Rebekah Rose]

Originally Posted by iluvCD

Thank you all for your kind and encouraging words. You ladies have really helped me by your posts...

Rebekah, I would LOVE to see your beautiful glowing self

I have found great support here.

Robin, I am VERY glad you are finding comfort and support in the posts you've received here. And please let me know when and where (I am HAPPY to drive to you!!) I am totally open the 31st and 1st or August 7th or 8th!!

I am so glad you and Chris are able to talk about it, and that he can hear your feelings and try to understand where you're coming from.

Hugs and love for you sweetie!!

[angelmama]

Awwhh, I am glad you talked, and he understands.
I will be praying for you and hope that GODS will is yours as well.
And you are not weak. seeking support and asking questions shows how brave and strong you are.
And I really wish I could, but I can't drive to Georgia, my Hubby would say no..lol

[imomx4]

(((Robin))) I'm sorry you are feeling so down lately. Definitely talk to your OB, and let anyone who can, come visit and help keep you in good company!!!

Your DH also needs to get a grip and realize you need him more now than ever before - it's time for him to step up to the plate and take care of you 100%!! I know you mentioned he is younger than you, so maybe he needs to talk to someone else - an older male friend or family member perhaps, who can help guide him to make better decisions. Is there anyone like that whom YOU can talk to and ask them to talk to him? Preferrably without your DH knowing you asked them to do that!! (since we all know that men don't like to feel ganged up on!!)

BIG (((HUGS))) coming your way Robin!!!

[ntnew]

I hope you feel better soon. I have battled depression, and yes it does feel overwhelming but it also does get better. Writing helped tremendously, even mundane things. Not even going back and reading more of the act of writing itself. If you end up taking something (which is perfectly fine) try not to take a SSRI, when you stop it is pure hell. Good luck and peace to you.

[daboys]

We hear this all the time: 'Every pregnancy is different' And it is so true. I had 2 wonderful pregnancies but I also have one where I was hit with days of loneliness and depression. It was really hard and i didn't understand what was going on. Later my midwife told me that suffering from depression is not uncommon during pregnancy and the best thing you can do is get up get out, and talk to people.

I hope this message finds you feeling better.
I don't live to far from you---- In Nashville Tn. So if you need to talk feel free to email me.

mrsannacox@yahoo