Baby Mama ~ What did you think?? (Warning: Contains Spoiler)

[Jmommybear]

I really, really wanted to like the movie and now, after seeing it, I really, really want to be positive...so I will say it was very, very funny and entertaining. As a movie it's two .

And now that I got that out of the way...I have to give it three for surrogacy. I went in wearing a "proud surrogate" t-shirt and came out wishing I wasn't wearing it. At first, I thought, "it really won't hurt surrogacy", but as I drove home I felt sad and I feel like I never want to be a surrogate again for anyone other than my IPs. I feel let down. I'm sure those feelings will pass, but it makes me realize that if the movie could make ME feel bad about surrogacy, what is it making the general public think?

I don't even want to hear about how it's just a movie and blah, blah, blah...because I was one of the ones saying that before. Right now all I know is how it made me feel and I don't feel good about being a surrogate tonight.

It was a really funny movie though...

[Looking2BGSinOR]

I have NO desire to see it at all. TOo much negative light being shed on surrogacy lately with all the articles and now this movie....

[siergibb]

I haven't seen it but I really want to. Although I must say I am not as excited after reading your post.
I am sorry that it made you feel bad and I hope you perk up soon there are people counting on you.
((Hugs))

[MyMiracle]

I haven't seen it and I'm not sure I will. I'm feeling hormonal from being 14 days post-partum and am worried about the movie upsetting me. Like you, I'm worried about the message the general public is receiving about surrogacy.

I read a review in the paper tonight that mentioned something about Tina Fey's character constantly patronizing her surromom, Amy Poehler's character. That makes me mad, just reading it. I can't imagine my IM ever patronizing me, or vice versa. It sounds like there's a level of respect missing from the movie and I know that would bother me.

Why did it make you feel like you never want to be a surro, except for your IPs? Was it because of how the surromom was disrespected in the movie?

I haven't seen the movie, but from what I've read, it seems that Poehler's character is portrayed as a "white trash ditz." Yes? It really burns me for a surrogate to be portrayed this way. Seriously, who would go out and contract with a stupid or ditzy or whatever woman to carry their child? All the IPs I know want a smart, stable, grounded surromom...as would I, in their shoes.

I'm with you on the about the movie and I haven't even sat through it! Hugs to you!

[Jmommybear]

Originally Posted by siergibb

Although I must say I am not as excited after reading your post.

Well, I think you'll enjoy it more knowing, when you go into it, what to expect. It really is very funny. If I were not a surro I would have totally different things to say. It just hurt me on a strange level.

Originally Posted by MyMiracle

Why did it make you feel like you never want to be a surro, except for your IPs? Was it because of how the surromom was disrespected in the movie?

I haven't seen the movie, but from what I've read, it seems that Poehler's character is portrayed as a "white trash ditz."

I honestly can't really quite say right now what it was that made me feel so crappy. (But the IM actually calls the SM "white trash".)

I don't know. I'm going to think about it some more and keep the details to myself until more ppl have seen it.

I don't know...I think I just realize how lucky I am to have my IPs and the movie just "cheapened" the whole thing (surrogacy) for me tonight.

[Pennylane9996]

Jan,

I'm so sorry you felt so bad. Please try to always feel proud to be a surrogate. Wear that shirt with nothing but pride !!!!
I feel awful that you felt so sad. Guess I'll have to see the movie but as an IM nothing in any movie will change my HIGH opinion of
surrogates & the gift of surrogacy.
So sorry & hope you feel better soon.

[MrJsMom]

I have no desire to see it. I was very open about my surrogacy journey and talking to people about it, even those that I thought might not understand why I was doing it, or just think it was crazy (I live in a very conservative state). I was lucky in that I didn't encounter any negativity in my workplace, including my own office, the state's attorney's office and the entire courthouse -- everyone was incredibly supportive. So what I'm hoping is that there are now a number of people in the town where I work who have a different view of surrogacy because they know me, and that if they do see the movie, they can see that its not an accurate view of surrogacy.

But please, Jan, continue to be very proud of what you've accomplished as a surrogate! I think its just up to us to educate people about it, since now we're up against thing like bad movies and bad magazine articles.

Michelle

[susanb573]

I haven't seen it and won't. I have read the four or five threads on here where people state that it's a comedy and will help get the idea of surrogacy "out there". Maybe that's true for big cities but not around here. I am the only surrogate in my town or my area for that matter. I am constantly educating others and have gone out of my way to portray surrogacy, myself, and my various IP's as wonderful, thoughtful, caring people. This is not the kind of movie that needs to be made about surrogacy. We need a couple of real movies first before we get the comedy. We can have comedies about homosexuality and other topics because we have already had the serious movies. How anyone can say that this will help the cause of surrogacy just astounds me. JMHO.

[Jmommybear]

I should explain better. I am very proud of what I did! *I* and my IPs and my family and SMO know what a great thing it is! I was wishing that I wasn't wearing shirt because of what others were likely thinking about surrogates after the movie. Maybe people's views of surrogates *are* good and I'm totally wrong (I truly hope so), but right now I feel like...well...kinda like people think I'm a prostitute. I already knew *some* people were going to think that regardless because there's always a few negative people like that. But now I find myself wondering if I've just been naive in thinking that others are impressed by it. Maybe people are just being nice to my face. KWIM?

You guys are wonderful for trying to cheer me up! I love SMO! I'm sorry for being such a downer! I usually try to put on a happy, positive face, but I just don't feel like that right now. Thank you for letting me be me.

[SherryT]

Just out of curiosity, how was the IM portrayed?

[Jmommybear]

Originally Posted by SherryT

Just out of curiosity, how was the IM portrayed?

IMO, as a victim. I can't give any details about it though.

[OhioSurroMom]

Originally Posted by Jmommybear

IMO, as a victim. I can't give any details about it though.

I personally have NO desire to see it and after hearing about it, won't even bother renting it. My DD did see it last night and when she was tellng me from beginning to end how the movie went, my mouth was on the floor all the way home. Ugh....

[cdcole]

Jan,
I went wearing a proud surrogate shirt, and came out with my sweater zipped up over it.

I completely understand how you are feeling. It's hard to explain, but it just leaves you with a bad feeling. I think I feel this way because of how much I wanted to like it. I'm sad that I got so excited, and now I'm completely let down.


It was a truely great movie, but it did NOT take a good direction as far as surrogacy was concerned. In fact, they showed just about the worst situation you could possibly imagine.

I was torn in the theater, because I kept hoping it would get better. But then it got to a point in the movie where I realized they'd already ruined the character of the surrogate, and there was no way it was going to turn out okay. It does have a happy ending, but took a completely different direction.


Something else that bothered me...

During the part where she takes a pregnancy test and finds out it's negative, everyone in the theater started laughing. And then she goes to the doctor and finds out she can't get pregnant, and they started laughing again. Please tell me what is so funny about that. Tina Fey didn't portray it as being funny. Maybe I'm being over sensitive, but I was really surprised how many people obviously have never considered how someone in her shoes really feels.

[HeyThere]

I dont think I should go see it now. I would hate to waste the money on something thats going to make me feel like crap. Thanks for the heads up. Sorry it was such a downer.

[SusanFrmLA]

All my friends are telling me ABOUT this movie, uh like I wouldn't hear about it BEFORE them? Silly friends.

I would NOT waste my money on such crap. The trailers were enough for me. Talk about confusing the public even more. The ONLY good thing is that it gets the word SURROGACY out there more. When they are ready for the reality and education of surrogacy, call me!

[HopefulSM]

I read a plot spoiler last night and now I won't see it. . . . ever. For exactly the same reasons Danielle and Jan mentioned.

[Jmommybear]

Originally Posted by cdcole

Jan,
I went wearing a proud surrogate shirt, and came out with my sweater zipped up over it.

I completely understand how you are feeling. It's hard to explain, but it just leaves you with a bad feeling. I think I feel this way because of how much I wanted to like it. I'm sad that I got so excited, and now I'm completely let down.


It was a truely great movie, but it did NOT take a good direction as far as surrogacy was concerned. In fact, they showed just about the worst situation you could possibly imagine.

I was torn in the theater, because I kept hoping it would get better. But then it got to a point in the movie where I realized they'd already ruined the character of the surrogate, and there was no way it was going to turn out okay. It does have a happy ending, but took a completely different direction.


Something else that bothered me...

During the part where she takes a pregnancy test and finds out it's negative, everyone in the theater started laughing. And then she goes to the doctor and finds out she can't get pregnant, and they started laughing again. Please tell me what is so funny about that. Tina Fey didn't portray it as being funny. Maybe I'm being over sensitive, but I was really surprised how many people obviously have never considered how someone in her shoes really feels.

I know exactly what you mean. I had a sweater and wanted to put it on, but I defiantly held my back straight.

I believe the "funniness" was that the test said "NO"...because it was like, "DENIED". I didn't take it as a lack of sympathy, personally...but then, I'm apparently naive, so maybe I should have.

Originally Posted by HeyThere

I dont think I should go see it now. I would hate to waste the money on something thats going to make me feel like crap.

I really wish I could have my $9 back.

[Jmommybear]

Originally Posted by SusanFrmLA

The ONLY good thing is that it gets the word SURROGACY out there more. When they are ready for the reality and education of surrogacy, call me!

[imomx4]

Hmmmmmm....I wish I wouldn't have read this thread now.


However, we are ordering our t-shirts today and are still planning to go next Saturday night as a group!! As I read through the replies here, it made me want to gather every friend and family member I have too though, and go in as a very large group of people in support of surrogacy -and for those of us who are/have been SM's to wear our shirts proudly to represent the REAL faces of surrogacy!!

How is the general population ever going to see who *WE* really are if we don't speak up, even if it is by just wearing a T-shirt and proudly letting others see us at this movie?


It makes me want to re-think the wording of our T-shirts though....I still want them to say "Proud Surrogate Mother* but I also want them to say something that gets the message out to people that this movie is nothing like the real surrogacy world.


Maybe for Meg's design we can change it up and have it say, "It's More Than Just A DUMB Comedy...." on the front, and then still have "It's a Miracle ~ Proud Surrogate Mother" on the back.


Or we could get really specific and say on the front, "Proud Surrogate Mother", and on the back it could say, "Please Do NOT Ever Confuse Who I Am With The Movie!!"


I don't know....if anyone has a better idea of what they could say, please let me know, because we are ordering today!!

[cdcole]

Originally Posted by Jmommybear

I know exactly what you mean. I had a sweater and wanted to put it on, but I defiantly held my back straight.

I believe the "funniness" was that the test said "NO"...because it was like, "DENIED". I didn't take it as a lack of sympathy, personally...but then, I'm apparently naive, so maybe I should have.

More than that, I was surprised at how people reacted when she was told she was infertile.

I was looking on IMDB, and of course people are already asking "why didn't she just adopt?"