Overwhelmed with fee's...it almost seems easier to NOT be compensated!

[zombiesatyour6]

I received an email from an agency with their surrogate benefits outlining the compensation and fees intended parents are responsible for. As I read through the fee list and the stipulations my jaw dropped.

I am sure that if I go on bed rest I will really need the childcare and housekeeping paid for. And the travel, life insurance and health insurance fee's stipulations are reasonable...but 1000$ for maternity clothes?! I spent less than 200$ on maternity clothes with my daughter. I don't see an issue with being injected with medication and don't feel the need to be compensated for that. Nor 5,000$ extra per baby or 3,000$ for a c section. The hysterectomy fee I feel is reasonable at 5,000$....

Mock cycle fee? Really?...and 400$ weekly for childcare when I am on bedrest?

When discussing fee's with my husband, we came to a conclusion on what is best for our family. It's less than HALF of what the agency is charging and didn't include a monthly allowance.

Though the monthly allowance would probably go to organic fresh food at the grocery store, I didn't even consider it when thinking about all of this.

Man...and that doesn't even include legal fees, insurance co pays and deductibles, ART etc etc

When starting out did your think something was unnecessary and it turned out that the fee was valid? I'm just really overwhelmed and feel so hopeless because if I were in the IPs position, there is NO way my husband and I could afford to have a baby. and that makes me really sad.

[TNsurro]

I received an email from an agency with their surrogate benefits outlining the compensation and fees intended parents are responsible for. As I read through the fee list and the stipulations my jaw dropped.

I am sure that if I go on bed rest I will really need the childcare and housekeeping paid for. And the travel, life insurance and health insurance fee's stipulations are reasonable...but 1000$ for maternity clothes?! I spent less than 200$ on maternity clothes with my daughter. I don't see an issue with being injected with medication and don't feel the need to be compensated for that. Nor 5,000$ extra per baby or 3,000$ for a c section. The hysterectomy fee I feel is reasonable at 5,000$....

Mock cycle fee? Really?...and 400$ weekly for childcare when I am on bedrest?

When discussing fee's with my husband, we came to a conclusion on what is best for our family. It's less than HALF of what the agency is charging and didn't include a monthly allowance.

Though the monthly allowance would probably go to organic fresh food at the grocery store, I didn't even consider it when thinking about all of this.

Man...and that doesn't even include legal fees, insurance co pays and deductibles, ART etc etc

When starting out did your think something was unnecessary and it turned out that the fee was valid? I'm just really overwhelmed and feel so hopeless because if I were in the IPs position, there is NO way my husband and I could afford to have a baby. and that makes me really sad.

First off I just want to say hello fellow Clarksvegas surro!

I agree with the fee for clothes, that's an insane amount in my mind. I don't even think I COULD spend that much on clothes I'm only going to really wear for the last trimester. SOME money for clothes is a good idea though.

Though the amount may seem extreme, and you may want to lower it, you ALWAYS want to have a multiples and c-section amount in there. Those are things that make a HUGE impact on your body!

Good luck dear and we should set up a gtg for this area! I know of myself and one other lady in town that are on a journey

[laguera77]

Does your agency allow you to set your own amounts? Maybe you can adjust them to what you feel is right but I wouldn't flat out remove the ones you mentioned. It's safer for you to have the fees in the contract as an option.

I encourage you to read some of stories on here about multiples. I'm positive you won't remove that fee.

I wouldn't remove the c-section fee either.....have you had a c-section before?

Cycling/injectable meds fee - cycling takes a lot of dedication for a full month with no guarantee that you'll get pregnant so this isn't something I feel guilty about getting a fee for.

[zombiesatyour6]

hello to other Clarksville ladies! If you'd like to contact me my email is ******

I'm still doing research and discussing with husband about what is right for our family. I have a lot more to think about now.



*Edited by admin to remove E-mail address at user's request.

[4rugrats]

While I agree it is important for you and your husband to decide what you are most comfortable with as far as compensation and that you should stick to that, those additional fees are very important.

As someone who has carried twins before and has had a previous c-section (and am now currently pregnant with another set of twins and looking at another c-section) you DO need the multiples fee and c-section fee. Carrying twins is a WHOLE other ballgame. And a c-section is a hard recovery. You and your family DESERVE and EARN those extra fees.

If, in the end, you were to decide you really didn't need those fees, you could always give the money back.

[luvmy4]

Keep in mind that they aren't necessarily having to pay out those full fees either. For maternity clothes, mine is $750 for a multiple's pg. I don't just get a check for that full amt though. I'm reimbursed for what I actually spend. I'm also a thrifty shopper and look for things at Goodwill, Saver's, etc before I'll go to a maternity store and pay full price. Because I've carried over the same season before, I really didn't think I'd spend much at all on clothes and figured it would just be for a "couple" of things towards the end. Well, I was wrong. Carrying twins I had no clue as to what sizes to buy, so I had to sort of just go along w/how I was growing. No, I didn't spend the full amt, but I sure as heck spent more than I anticipated and was glad to have that available to me.

I agree w/talking to your agency to see if you are allowed to negotiate your fees at all. My agency has a "set fee" list that really is just more of a guideline based on the norm across the board. There were some that I was uncomfortable w/and wanted to change and DID change them. Some I just left alone because I knew that I wouldn't use/need it, but it made my IP's more comfortable having it in there. There were things like childcare, that I didn't need for each of my children (mine provides $50 per day per child, so that would be $200 per day!!!) and was uncomfortable w/the amt, but I also know that having 4 kids and having to potentially travel at a moments notice, it's not easy finding just anyone who can watch them. Well, I don't need to really worry about my oldest 2, just the youngest 2, so I look more at who is watching them and for how long, then adjust accordingly rather than just "taking what I can get", so to speak.

And as also mentioned, if you receive a fee that you are uncomfortable with, you can always give it back.

[kanbangirl]

Although some might be necessary, some might be.

For example: A mock cycle is a month of medications going into your body and several appointments. It is not the easiest thing to do, so compensation is helpful.

Maternity clothes is different for everyone. I had ZERO clothes because I had nothing left from my own pregnancies. I have $750 and I spent that and some of my own.

A medication fee is nice because sometimes you go through a complete cycle and it is canceled through no fault of your own. After months of cycling, a small fee is sometimes helpful, even just to help with the fact that your husband had to deal with you for three months on hormones

If you don't have any of these fees, you could be with your IPs for a year, tons of medication, shots, appointments, no sex and a million other things and never have any compensation for it.

As far as bedrest, it depends on what you would need. Childcare, housekeeping, driving kids to school and activities? This is more based on the needs of your own family. You have to decide worst case scenario and plan for it. Your family has to be protected. If you don't need it, don't take it.

In the end, it is absolutely up to you, but keep this in mind.

[cousinmommy]

You might think some of those fees are crazy but with surrogacy, you should always prepare for the worst and hope for the best. If you took out a lot fo those fees, things could happen in which you would regret not having them and no one would be obligated to then cover those expenses.

I would also keep the cycling or start of meds fee and/or transfer fee. The reason is that there is no guarantee that you will end up pregnant. If you go through all the process/injections, etc and don't end up pregnant then you have at least received those fees for your trouble up to that point. Many people have those fees and then if they do get pregnant, it gets deducted from their base comp. You can have it as above and beyond your comp but perhaps you would feel more comfortable with this other option.

[Surromom2bee]

While I agree it is important for you and your husband to decide what you are most comfortable with as far as compensation and that you should stick to that, those additional fees are very important.

As someone who has carried twins before and has had a previous c-section (and am now currently pregnant with another set of twins and looking at another c-section) you DO need the multiples fee and c-section fee. Carrying twins is a WHOLE other ballgame. And a c-section is a hard recovery. You and your family DESERVE and EARN those extra fees.

If, in the end, you were to decide you really didn't need those fees, you could always give the money back.

DITTO THIS!!!! With twins you are likely to need MORE maternity clothes towards the end too and they are costly...

[3S_Lady85]

While I agree it is important for you and your husband to decide what you are most comfortable with as far as compensation and that you should stick to that, those additional fees are very important.

As someone who has carried twins before and has had a previous c-section (and am now currently pregnant with another set of twins and looking at another c-section) you DO need the multiples fee and c-section fee. Carrying twins is a WHOLE other ballgame. And a c-section is a hard recovery. You and your family DESERVE and EARN those extra fees.

If, in the end, you were to decide you really didn't need those fees, you could always give the money back.

Yup. Looking back, I'd ask for a higher twin fee and c-section fee. And I had previously had a c-section before. You can't always count on an easy recovery. Also, you just never know what is going to come up in pregnancy. My IP's hired help for me (at $10 an hour) even though it wasn't in our contract. They just felt I needed the help with a twin pregnancy even if I wasn't on bedrest.

I got $750 for a twin maternity clothing allowance and I used it! I kept getting bigger and needed more and more clothes (and I shopped the clearance rack 90% of the time!). I also used the clothing allowance on things like a good maternity support belt and abdominal binder for after birth.

Also, I'd keep the monthly allowance. I wish I had had one of those. I ate a lot of money because I was too sick to deal with the messed up spread sheet my agency wanted me to fill out for reimbursement. Monthly medications, gas milage, several $100 copays, etc... Having a monthly check for those things without having to deal with the hassle would have been so worth it!

[pehl526]

Before I even got started with a couple I had all my fee's in place. I'm going indepentent but I'm also a TS. You don't have to except those fees. That is what your contract is for. Yes the agency has their fee's, but the IP's will get that money back if that is not in your contract.

I have $300 for clothes
I have $150 weekly childcare
I have $500 weekly if I'm on bed rest (that is what I make per week)
The c-section, multiples are what fee's I have


You set your fee. If you don't like what the agency is setting change them in your contract.

Jessica

I received an email from an agency with their surrogate benefits outlining the compensation and fees intended parents are responsible for. As I read through the fee list and the stipulations my jaw dropped.

I am sure that if I go on bed rest I will really need the childcare and housekeeping paid for. And the travel, life insurance and health insurance fee's stipulations are reasonable...but 1000$ for maternity clothes?! I spent less than 200$ on maternity clothes with my daughter. I don't see an issue with being injected with medication and don't feel the need to be compensated for that. Nor 5,000$ extra per baby or 3,000$ for a c section. The hysterectomy fee I feel is reasonable at 5,000$....

Mock cycle fee? Really?...and 400$ weekly for childcare when I am on bedrest?

When discussing fee's with my husband, we came to a conclusion on what is best for our family. It's less than HALF of what the agency is charging and didn't include a monthly allowance.

Though the monthly allowance would probably go to organic fresh food at the grocery store, I didn't even consider it when thinking about all of this.

Man...and that doesn't even include legal fees, insurance co pays and deductibles, ART etc etc

When starting out did your think something was unnecessary and it turned out that the fee was valid? I'm just really overwhelmed and feel so hopeless because if I were in the IPs position, there is NO way my husband and I could afford to have a baby. and that makes me really sad.

[Catie62577]

I received an email from an agency with their surrogate benefits outlining the compensation and fees intended parents are responsible for. As I read through the fee list and the stipulations my jaw dropped.

I am sure that if I go on bed rest I will really need the childcare and housekeeping paid for. And the travel, life insurance and health insurance fee's stipulations are reasonable...but 1000$ for maternity clothes?! I spent less than 200$ on maternity clothes with my daughter. I don't see an issue with being injected with medication and don't feel the need to be compensated for that. Nor 5,000$ extra per baby or 3,000$ for a c section. The hysterectomy fee I feel is reasonable at 5,000$....

Mock cycle fee? Really?...and 400$ weekly for childcare when I am on bedrest?

When discussing fee's with my husband, we came to a conclusion on what is best for our family. It's less than HALF of what the agency is charging and didn't include a monthly allowance.

Though the monthly allowance would probably go to organic fresh food at the grocery store, I didn't even consider it when thinking about all of this.

Man...and that doesn't even include legal fees, insurance co pays and deductibles, ART etc etc

When starting out did your think something was unnecessary and it turned out that the fee was valid? I'm just really overwhelmed and feel so hopeless because if I were in the IPs position, there is NO way my husband and I could afford to have a baby. and that makes me really sad.

I felt the same way at the beginning of my first journey and I am so glad that my agency coordinator and my lawyer talked me into leaving (almost) everything alone. I wish I had a cycling fee now (2 back to back failed cycles and a miscarriage wreak havoc or your body, trust me.)

By all means look at things like child care, cleaning, life insurance and tweak those so they are more in line with your families needs. But I agree with previous posters that asked you to read some of the multiple stories on here before touching that fee. Same with the C-section fee, unless you've already had one you have no idea what kind of recovery you are looking forward to. As far as the clothing allowance goes, mine seems fairly high but I am required to dress formally at work and formal maternity clothing isn't exactly cheap. Plus I need non-work clothing (who wants to waddle around in a suit on a Saturday?) so even though my clothing allowance is on the high side, I'll still end up using some of my own money on clothing.

Ask your agency if you can sit down and discuss each fee (if they negotiate them, some don't) they might be better able to explain why they charge what they do.

[surrolena]

You should always be prepared for the worst. When I was hospitalized with sudden-onset severe preeclampsia I was told I was not leaving until delivery, whenever that would be. My husband is away and my only family that was nearby moved to Germany. I'm sure glad I left the max amount of childcare in our contract because I needed it to pay for 24 hour care for my kids while I was gone.

I would personally lower the clothing fee, however. I'd also have different amounts for a singleton vs. multiples for clothing. My c-section fee was lower and it was plenty to pay for what I needed even with no husband around. My kids are out of school though and my oldest is 10 and can help (plus I don't have any so young they need lots of care). I've never carried multiples but remember not only is it harder, but many people have to make lifestyle modifications in order to help the babies stay in longer or deal with the side effects of multiples.

[telemetrynurse]

I received an email from an agency with their surrogate benefits outlining the compensation and fees intended parents are responsible for. As I read through the fee list and the stipulations my jaw dropped.

I am sure that if I go on bed rest I will really need the childcare and housekeeping paid for. And the travel, life insurance and health insurance fee's stipulations are reasonable...but 1000$ for maternity clothes?! I spent less than 200$ on maternity clothes with my daughter. I don't see an issue with being injected with medication and don't feel the need to be compensated for that. Nor 5,000$ extra per baby or 3,000$ for a c section. The hysterectomy fee I feel is reasonable at 5,000$....

Mock cycle fee? Really?...and 400$ weekly for childcare when I am on bedrest?

When discussing fee's with my husband, we came to a conclusion on what is best for our family. It's less than HALF of what the agency is charging and didn't include a monthly allowance.

Though the monthly allowance would probably go to organic fresh food at the grocery store, I didn't even consider it when thinking about all of this.

Man...and that doesn't even include legal fees, insurance co pays and deductibles, ART etc etc

When starting out did your think something was unnecessary and it turned out that the fee was valid? I'm just really overwhelmed and feel so hopeless because if I were in the IPs position, there is NO way my husband and I could afford to have a baby. and that makes me really sad.

I am a hopeful IP. I was touched by your concern and empathy for the IP's expenses. Whoever you match with will be blessed!

I hope that you do heed the advice of the helpful and experienced ladies here and keep all of the compensation and fees listed in the contract.

I wish you all the best in your journey.