Overwhelmed with fee's...it almost seems easier to NOT be compensated!

[zombiesatyour6]

I received an email from an agency with their surrogate benefits outlining the compensation and fees intended parents are responsible for. As I read through the fee list and the stipulations my jaw dropped.

I am sure that if I go on bed rest I will really need the childcare and housekeeping paid for. And the travel, life insurance and health insurance fee's stipulations are reasonable...but 1000$ for maternity clothes?! I spent less than 200$ on maternity clothes with my daughter. I don't see an issue with being injected with medication and don't feel the need to be compensated for that. Nor 5,000$ extra per baby or 3,000$ for a c section. The hysterectomy fee I feel is reasonable at 5,000$....

Mock cycle fee? Really?...and 400$ weekly for childcare when I am on bedrest?

When discussing fee's with my husband, we came to a conclusion on what is best for our family. It's less than HALF of what the agency is charging and didn't include a monthly allowance.

Though the monthly allowance would probably go to organic fresh food at the grocery store, I didn't even consider it when thinking about all of this.

Man...and that doesn't even include legal fees, insurance co pays and deductibles, ART etc etc

When starting out did your think something was unnecessary and it turned out that the fee was valid? I'm just really overwhelmed and feel so hopeless because if I were in the IPs position, there is NO way my husband and I could afford to have a baby. and that makes me really sad.

[TNsurro]

I received an email from an agency with their surrogate benefits outlining the compensation and fees intended parents are responsible for. As I read through the fee list and the stipulations my jaw dropped.

I am sure that if I go on bed rest I will really need the childcare and housekeeping paid for. And the travel, life insurance and health insurance fee's stipulations are reasonable...but 1000$ for maternity clothes?! I spent less than 200$ on maternity clothes with my daughter. I don't see an issue with being injected with medication and don't feel the need to be compensated for that. Nor 5,000$ extra per baby or 3,000$ for a c section. The hysterectomy fee I feel is reasonable at 5,000$....

Mock cycle fee? Really?...and 400$ weekly for childcare when I am on bedrest?

When discussing fee's with my husband, we came to a conclusion on what is best for our family. It's less than HALF of what the agency is charging and didn't include a monthly allowance.

Though the monthly allowance would probably go to organic fresh food at the grocery store, I didn't even consider it when thinking about all of this.

Man...and that doesn't even include legal fees, insurance co pays and deductibles, ART etc etc

When starting out did your think something was unnecessary and it turned out that the fee was valid? I'm just really overwhelmed and feel so hopeless because if I were in the IPs position, there is NO way my husband and I could afford to have a baby. and that makes me really sad.

First off I just want to say hello fellow Clarksvegas surro!

I agree with the fee for clothes, that's an insane amount in my mind. I don't even think I COULD spend that much on clothes I'm only going to really wear for the last trimester. SOME money for clothes is a good idea though.

Though the amount may seem extreme, and you may want to lower it, you ALWAYS want to have a multiples and c-section amount in there. Those are things that make a HUGE impact on your body!

Good luck dear and we should set up a gtg for this area! I know of myself and one other lady in town that are on a journey

[laguera77]

Does your agency allow you to set your own amounts? Maybe you can adjust them to what you feel is right but I wouldn't flat out remove the ones you mentioned. It's safer for you to have the fees in the contract as an option.

I encourage you to read some of stories on here about multiples. I'm positive you won't remove that fee.

I wouldn't remove the c-section fee either.....have you had a c-section before?

Cycling/injectable meds fee - cycling takes a lot of dedication for a full month with no guarantee that you'll get pregnant so this isn't something I feel guilty about getting a fee for.

[zombiesatyour6]

hello to other Clarksville ladies! If you'd like to contact me my email is ******

I'm still doing research and discussing with husband about what is right for our family. I have a lot more to think about now.



*Edited by admin to remove E-mail address at user's request.

[4rugrats]

While I agree it is important for you and your husband to decide what you are most comfortable with as far as compensation and that you should stick to that, those additional fees are very important.

As someone who has carried twins before and has had a previous c-section (and am now currently pregnant with another set of twins and looking at another c-section) you DO need the multiples fee and c-section fee. Carrying twins is a WHOLE other ballgame. And a c-section is a hard recovery. You and your family DESERVE and EARN those extra fees.

If, in the end, you were to decide you really didn't need those fees, you could always give the money back.

[luvmy4]

Keep in mind that they aren't necessarily having to pay out those full fees either. For maternity clothes, mine is $750 for a multiple's pg. I don't just get a check for that full amt though. I'm reimbursed for what I actually spend. I'm also a thrifty shopper and look for things at Goodwill, Saver's, etc before I'll go to a maternity store and pay full price. Because I've carried over the same season before, I really didn't think I'd spend much at all on clothes and figured it would just be for a "couple" of things towards the end. Well, I was wrong. Carrying twins I had no clue as to what sizes to buy, so I had to sort of just go along w/how I was growing. No, I didn't spend the full amt, but I sure as heck spent more than I anticipated and was glad to have that available to me.

I agree w/talking to your agency to see if you are allowed to negotiate your fees at all. My agency has a "set fee" list that really is just more of a guideline based on the norm across the board. There were some that I was uncomfortable w/and wanted to change and DID change them. Some I just left alone because I knew that I wouldn't use/need it, but it made my IP's more comfortable having it in there. There were things like childcare, that I didn't need for each of my children (mine provides $50 per day per child, so that would be $200 per day!!!) and was uncomfortable w/the amt, but I also know that having 4 kids and having to potentially travel at a moments notice, it's not easy finding just anyone who can watch them. Well, I don't need to really worry about my oldest 2, just the youngest 2, so I look more at who is watching them and for how long, then adjust accordingly rather than just "taking what I can get", so to speak.

And as also mentioned, if you receive a fee that you are uncomfortable with, you can always give it back.

[kanbangirl]

Although some might be necessary, some might be.

For example: A mock cycle is a month of medications going into your body and several appointments. It is not the easiest thing to do, so compensation is helpful.

Maternity clothes is different for everyone. I had ZERO clothes because I had nothing left from my own pregnancies. I have $750 and I spent that and some of my own.

A medication fee is nice because sometimes you go through a complete cycle and it is canceled through no fault of your own. After months of cycling, a small fee is sometimes helpful, even just to help with the fact that your husband had to deal with you for three months on hormones

If you don't have any of these fees, you could be with your IPs for a year, tons of medication, shots, appointments, no sex and a million other things and never have any compensation for it.

As far as bedrest, it depends on what you would need. Childcare, housekeeping, driving kids to school and activities? This is more based on the needs of your own family. You have to decide worst case scenario and plan for it. Your family has to be protected. If you don't need it, don't take it.

In the end, it is absolutely up to you, but keep this in mind.

[cousinmommy]

You might think some of those fees are crazy but with surrogacy, you should always prepare for the worst and hope for the best. If you took out a lot fo those fees, things could happen in which you would regret not having them and no one would be obligated to then cover those expenses.

I would also keep the cycling or start of meds fee and/or transfer fee. The reason is that there is no guarantee that you will end up pregnant. If you go through all the process/injections, etc and don't end up pregnant then you have at least received those fees for your trouble up to that point. Many people have those fees and then if they do get pregnant, it gets deducted from their base comp. You can have it as above and beyond your comp but perhaps you would feel more comfortable with this other option.

[missbeth]

Although some might be necessary, some might be.

For example: A mock cycle is a month of medications going into your body and several appointments. It is not the easiest thing to do, so compensation is helpful.

Maternity clothes is different for everyone. I had ZERO clothes because I had nothing left from my own pregnancies. I have $750 and I spent that and some of my own.

A medication fee is nice because sometimes you go through a complete cycle and it is canceled through no fault of your own. After months of cycling, a small fee is sometimes helpful, even just to help with the fact that your husband had to deal with you for three months on hormones

If you don't have any of these fees, you could be with your IPs for a year, tons of medication, shots, appointments, no sex and a million other things and never have any compensation for it.

As far as bedrest, it depends on what you would need. Childcare, housekeeping, driving kids to school and activities? This is more based on the needs of your own family. You have to decide worst case scenario and plan for it. Your family has to be protected. If you don't need it, don't take it.

In the end, it is absolutely up to you, but keep this in mind.

Yes, this. Some may seem ridiculous to you right now as you are just getting into it all... but they aren't too far fetched. As other's said, if you don't need it, don't take it... but they're there and should not be removed. $1k for maternity might be too much for a single ton, but halfway through with twins you might realize you're going to need bigger clothes than you thought. As far as childcare- those will be a reimbursement- so you use what you need and don't take what you don't.

JUst remember don't sell yourself or your family short. You and what you are wanting to do are WORTH these things, or they wouldn't be there.

[Jen_MG]

I get where you are coming from, but like the other ladies have said, it's best to protect yourself and then you can make game time decisions as you go.

For us, there were a million little fees for every tiny thing along the way. We are with an agency that allowed us to set our own fees for everything, so we skipped all the lame stuff. Covered ourselves for all those important what ifs and we are all comfortable with that.

[jlm4]

As an IM I appreciate your concern about how much surrogacy costs; you're right - it's a bear! Please remember that surrogates are worth it, though.

Btw, the c-section fee should be viewed as a "c-section recovery fee," not a fee for having a c-section.

Good luck to you!

[zombiesatyour6]

As an Independant do you take the fee structure of an agency?

I think what we are going to do is put the fees in the contract for cycling/transfer etc and once things are smooth and there's a heart beat I'll absorb those costs into the comp.

Lots to think about.

[ButterflyDream]

I'm an IM, and even I agree that there's a good reason for most of those fees--even though they increase the cost of me becoming a parent by another $10K.

Multiples are going to be harder on your body. Not just with the extra weight and potential for stretch marks, but it sounds like your m/s and fatigue will be much worse. $5K sounds a little high (our multiples fee is $3K), but like the others said you can always give some back later if you can't change the fee outright.

A C-Section is a fairly major abdominal surgery. Although some are superwomen and able to get back to their normal routine fairly quickly, more likely your body will need time to recover and heal. Chances are good that you won't be able to do the regular housekeeping, cooking and cleaning, so I think it'd be nice to have funds available to help with that. Lord knows my mom would have loved to have that while recovering from her C-Section with me--my dad could only make basic breakfast foods (eggs, bacon, cereal, and toast), so that was all she ate until my grandmother came to visit 2 weeks later.

$80 a day for childcare doesn't seem all that outrageous to me--that's only $10 an hour. Then again, I live in CA, so maybe my perception is skewed. And the monthly allowance generally is for copays, mileage to appointments, prenatals, and similar things. Remember--surrogacy isn't supposed to cost you anything financially, although it will take up a bunch of your time.

Good luck with your continued research.

[twinlioness]

i think it's sweet that you have sympathy for your future IP's but don't let that cloud your protection of yourself.

I agree that 1k seems like a bit much but it might be necessary if you have multiples, had no maternity clothes left over, or live in an area with a high standard of living. Same goes for childcare.

A multiples fee really is a must as is a C-section fee.

Also just because it's in the contract doesn't mean you have to take it. For example if you get 750$ worth of clothes and that's all you need , great! However, its always best to have that money there for a just in case. You certainly don't want to have to pay out of pocket or have to "ask" your IP's for money. That could get very uncomfortable.

Do what's best or you but keep in mind its better to protect yourself now and then if you don't need it great! But it should be there if you do.

[SarahNC]

I had a $500/$750 (sing/mult) maternity clothes allowance, and I have Definitely gone over that...but, I thought I had clothes that I could use, but through loaning them out, they came back to me stained and/or shrunken, so they were unable to be worn, and I had to buy more than I had anticipated. But, I agreed to $500, and that's what I stuck with. I did not ask my IPs for more money to cover it because it would not be fair to them.

So, keep that in mind when you are setting fees. Even though you think some of the fees are high, if you set them too low you will be out of pocket. It's better to have a fee that is standard and end up being more than you need (and able to give some back) than to have it set low and end up with it not being enough.

[amylynn]

All the fee's you listed seem like the "norm" to me. There are so many things you have to account for. Good luck!

[Surromom2bee]

While I agree it is important for you and your husband to decide what you are most comfortable with as far as compensation and that you should stick to that, those additional fees are very important.

As someone who has carried twins before and has had a previous c-section (and am now currently pregnant with another set of twins and looking at another c-section) you DO need the multiples fee and c-section fee. Carrying twins is a WHOLE other ballgame. And a c-section is a hard recovery. You and your family DESERVE and EARN those extra fees.

If, in the end, you were to decide you really didn't need those fees, you could always give the money back.

DITTO THIS!!!! With twins you are likely to need MORE maternity clothes towards the end too and they are costly...

[3S_Lady85]

While I agree it is important for you and your husband to decide what you are most comfortable with as far as compensation and that you should stick to that, those additional fees are very important.

As someone who has carried twins before and has had a previous c-section (and am now currently pregnant with another set of twins and looking at another c-section) you DO need the multiples fee and c-section fee. Carrying twins is a WHOLE other ballgame. And a c-section is a hard recovery. You and your family DESERVE and EARN those extra fees.

If, in the end, you were to decide you really didn't need those fees, you could always give the money back.

Yup. Looking back, I'd ask for a higher twin fee and c-section fee. And I had previously had a c-section before. You can't always count on an easy recovery. Also, you just never know what is going to come up in pregnancy. My IP's hired help for me (at $10 an hour) even though it wasn't in our contract. They just felt I needed the help with a twin pregnancy even if I wasn't on bedrest.

I got $750 for a twin maternity clothing allowance and I used it! I kept getting bigger and needed more and more clothes (and I shopped the clearance rack 90% of the time!). I also used the clothing allowance on things like a good maternity support belt and abdominal binder for after birth.

Also, I'd keep the monthly allowance. I wish I had had one of those. I ate a lot of money because I was too sick to deal with the messed up spread sheet my agency wanted me to fill out for reimbursement. Monthly medications, gas milage, several $100 copays, etc... Having a monthly check for those things without having to deal with the hassle would have been so worth it!

[pehl526]

Before I even got started with a couple I had all my fee's in place. I'm going indepentent but I'm also a TS. You don't have to except those fees. That is what your contract is for. Yes the agency has their fee's, but the IP's will get that money back if that is not in your contract.

I have $300 for clothes
I have $150 weekly childcare
I have $500 weekly if I'm on bed rest (that is what I make per week)
The c-section, multiples are what fee's I have


You set your fee. If you don't like what the agency is setting change them in your contract.

Jessica

I received an email from an agency with their surrogate benefits outlining the compensation and fees intended parents are responsible for. As I read through the fee list and the stipulations my jaw dropped.

I am sure that if I go on bed rest I will really need the childcare and housekeeping paid for. And the travel, life insurance and health insurance fee's stipulations are reasonable...but 1000$ for maternity clothes?! I spent less than 200$ on maternity clothes with my daughter. I don't see an issue with being injected with medication and don't feel the need to be compensated for that. Nor 5,000$ extra per baby or 3,000$ for a c section. The hysterectomy fee I feel is reasonable at 5,000$....

Mock cycle fee? Really?...and 400$ weekly for childcare when I am on bedrest?

When discussing fee's with my husband, we came to a conclusion on what is best for our family. It's less than HALF of what the agency is charging and didn't include a monthly allowance.

Though the monthly allowance would probably go to organic fresh food at the grocery store, I didn't even consider it when thinking about all of this.

Man...and that doesn't even include legal fees, insurance co pays and deductibles, ART etc etc

When starting out did your think something was unnecessary and it turned out that the fee was valid? I'm just really overwhelmed and feel so hopeless because if I were in the IPs position, there is NO way my husband and I could afford to have a baby. and that makes me really sad.

[Catie62577]

I received an email from an agency with their surrogate benefits outlining the compensation and fees intended parents are responsible for. As I read through the fee list and the stipulations my jaw dropped.

I am sure that if I go on bed rest I will really need the childcare and housekeeping paid for. And the travel, life insurance and health insurance fee's stipulations are reasonable...but 1000$ for maternity clothes?! I spent less than 200$ on maternity clothes with my daughter. I don't see an issue with being injected with medication and don't feel the need to be compensated for that. Nor 5,000$ extra per baby or 3,000$ for a c section. The hysterectomy fee I feel is reasonable at 5,000$....

Mock cycle fee? Really?...and 400$ weekly for childcare when I am on bedrest?

When discussing fee's with my husband, we came to a conclusion on what is best for our family. It's less than HALF of what the agency is charging and didn't include a monthly allowance.

Though the monthly allowance would probably go to organic fresh food at the grocery store, I didn't even consider it when thinking about all of this.

Man...and that doesn't even include legal fees, insurance co pays and deductibles, ART etc etc

When starting out did your think something was unnecessary and it turned out that the fee was valid? I'm just really overwhelmed and feel so hopeless because if I were in the IPs position, there is NO way my husband and I could afford to have a baby. and that makes me really sad.

I felt the same way at the beginning of my first journey and I am so glad that my agency coordinator and my lawyer talked me into leaving (almost) everything alone. I wish I had a cycling fee now (2 back to back failed cycles and a miscarriage wreak havoc or your body, trust me.)

By all means look at things like child care, cleaning, life insurance and tweak those so they are more in line with your families needs. But I agree with previous posters that asked you to read some of the multiple stories on here before touching that fee. Same with the C-section fee, unless you've already had one you have no idea what kind of recovery you are looking forward to. As far as the clothing allowance goes, mine seems fairly high but I am required to dress formally at work and formal maternity clothing isn't exactly cheap. Plus I need non-work clothing (who wants to waddle around in a suit on a Saturday?) so even though my clothing allowance is on the high side, I'll still end up using some of my own money on clothing.

Ask your agency if you can sit down and discuss each fee (if they negotiate them, some don't) they might be better able to explain why they charge what they do.