please

[misshopeful]

I'm sorry u all spend so much time on here that u think I'm someone else. I did refrain from weed long enough to pass a drug test. Who ever reviews my post is not posting them. I got a false positive. Do the research on the OTC MEDS that can cause a false positive. Luckly my agency doesn't think like u all & I re-tested today :p came back all clear & we are still proceeding!!!! I'm grateful my IPs & I have built a trusting relationship. I ate a edible back in dec. I'm not saying it was the right thing nor am i saying legalize weed. People make mistakes & thankfully I have been forgive for mine & praised for my honesty. I will do whatever IPs ask. Submit to random drug test at my own expense because i know i messed up. But there is still no reason to ATTACK. some if the women came off so viciously. I don't thing weed is great nor am I a "druggie" but on thr medical side meds derived from thc have benifits. So I can be called a druggie (which i thought was rude) but if I say go crawl in a hole I'm rude?! Huh?! What I did was a mistake!!! One said that. I was only looking for advice on how tell my IPs!!!!!!! I am in no way trying to cheapen surros or surrogacy. I didn't get into this for $$. I was also not trying to cause sny drama on the sight. The reason I signed up was to be make to have an outlet for questions. I will not be posting any more as i feel run off.

[dahlia]

In all of the reading I have done, it appears that THC screening USED to present false positives for the use of common OTC drugs (NSAIDs in particular), but those tests have been modified to eliminate that problem. There is a medication used for anorexia and AIDS patients that is used for weight gain that still gives false positives, though. That is ALL I can find. If you can find a reliable, scientifically based site that says otherwise, I will be more than happy to eat my words.

It sounds to me like you don't in general take care of your body. You talk about casual marijuana use (you say it was a mistake but honestly, what adult eats marijuana treats regretfully?) and being surrounded by large amounts of smoke (you said this in reference to testing positive for THC, which makes me think you mean pot, but maybe you mean cigarettes?). This is so poisonous to your body.

If you don't recognize this, and don't already abstain from this type of lifestyle on behalf of yourself and your own child, you have to understand why everyone here will freak out a little at the idea you might not be able to abstain from these things for the sake of someone elses baby.

That aside, marijuana, whether it SHOULD or SHOULDN'T be illegal, IS illegal. Choosing to use it is choosing to break the law. You engaged in an illegal activity, and you need to thank your lucky stars that your agency and your IPs are forgiving. But that doesn't make you completely off the hook.

Do you really believe your lifestyle is conducive to carrying another person's pregnancy for them? Will you have to hide pieces of your life from them if they visit your home? If the answer to that question is yes, you need to seriously rethink this. This isn't just offering to cat-sit for the weekend. This is taking their life savings, and their trust that you can grow their child safely.

Look at your little one and ask yourself how many people you would trust him/her with for 9 months without you being able to be there at all. THAT is the kind of trust they are putting in you. Can you honestly handle that?

[4rugrats]

Bye!

[RobsChica]

You are being moderated. Your posts won't show up for many hours and maybe over a day because you're being moderated.
Reread your posts in that thread and you'll see you didn't write 'crawl in a hole' and more to the point, reread the Terms of Service. It may provide you some insight on you are expected to behave and also why many of us haven't come out and said how we truly feel about you.
We're not allowed.

And for God's sake, if you don't want people to think you're an immature person who doesn't care how they come across in written communication, stop writing in text speak. If you can't take the time to write every word out on your iPhone then use a computer or gain some impulse control. You sound like an angry teenager blowing off steam on Myspace and I don't mean that in a cool, retro way.

[CaliTS]

The part about this that really bugs me the most. Is that you don't get why people are upset. Its not the whole illegal/legal thing about pot. Yes, I smoked in high school. I haven't smoked it in over 20 yrs. But, that doesn't mean I don't get what it means to be clean and in a clean enviroment for IPs.
Also, as for your location, I live in the Meth captial of the world. Does that mean I hang out with people who do meth? Uhm, no. I have more respect for myself and my family.

Geez, don't try and blow smoke in our face. Bwahaha, pun intended.

[surrolena]

To clarify I never called you a druggie and you quoted something I said about my childhood and told me to go find a hole because I said it. I think I tend to be pretty considerate of people and don't feel I attacked you nor deserved your response.

You asked why an agency might have a reason to not want to work with someone who had a positive test and you were given answers. The main thing is that they could be sued if they matched someone who ended up using drugs during the pregnancy or who participated in other illegal activities. It is a liability for them.

I'm glad that your subsequent test came back negative. I hope that you are able to change your attitude and approach on this board as it is an invaluable resource when navigating something as unique and life-changing as surrogacy.

[Juliana]

Which agency are you working with?
There is a thread here:

http://www.surromomsonline.com/suppo...ad.php?t=89169

where everyone lists which agency they're working with and you can add yours.

[cousinmommy]

I'm sorry u all spend so much time on here that u think I'm someone else. I did refrain from weed long enough to pass a drug test. Who ever reviews my post is not posting them. I got a false positive. Do the research on the OTC MEDS that can cause a false positive. Luckly my agency doesn't think like u all & I re-tested today :p came back all clear & we are still proceeding!!!! I'm grateful my IPs & I have built a trusting relationship. I ate a edible back in dec. I'm not saying it was the right thing nor am i saying legalize weed. People make mistakes & thankfully I have been forgive for mine & praised for my honesty. I will do whatever IPs ask. Submit to random drug test at my own expense because i know i messed up. But there is still no reason to ATTACK. some if the women came off so viciously. I don't thing weed is great nor am I a "druggie" but on thr medical side meds derived from thc have benifits. So I can be called a druggie (which i thought was rude) but if I say go crawl in a hole I'm rude?! Huh?! What I did was a mistake!!! One said that. I was only looking for advice on how tell my IPs!!!!!!! I am in no way trying to cheapen surros or surrogacy. I didn't get into this for $$. I was also not trying to cause sny drama on the sight. The reason I signed up was to be make to have an outlet for questions. I will not be posting any more as i feel run off.

You can ask any question you want but you can't dictate or predict what answers you will get or the feelings behind them. You posted something that you knew was likely to get ugly based on the title you gave your thread. This board, like most, has members from all walks of life, from all over the country, and even from other countries. You can't expect everyone to be how you want them to be. You can barely even get that in a small room with only a few people. If you don't want to post anymore then don't. There's no point in telling everyone. That's just a play for attention in my book. I hate it when someone new comes here with what is obviously going to be a touchy subject for their first post. Then they act surprised and get their panties in a twist over the replies they get. It's childish to make an issue of the fact that you won't post here anymore. If you think it will make people feel bad then good luck with that. It's like one kid telling another "if you won't play what I want to play then I'm taking my toys and going home".

In all of the reading I have done, it appears that THC screening USED to present false positives for the use of common OTC drugs (NSAIDs in particular), but those tests have been modified to eliminate that problem. There is a medication used for anorexia and AIDS patients that is used for weight gain that still gives false positives, though. That is ALL I can find. If you can find a reliable, scientifically based site that says otherwise, I will be more than happy to eat my words.

It sounds to me like you don't in general take care of your body. You talk about casual marijuana use (you say it was a mistake but honestly, what adult eats marijuana treats regretfully?) and being surrounded by large amounts of smoke (you said this in reference to testing positive for THC, which makes me think you mean pot, but maybe you mean cigarettes?). This is so poisonous to your body.

If you don't recognize this, and don't already abstain from this type of lifestyle on behalf of yourself and your own child, you have to understand why everyone here will freak out a little at the idea you might not be able to abstain from these things for the sake of someone elses baby.

That aside, marijuana, whether it SHOULD or SHOULDN'T be illegal, IS illegal. Choosing to use it is choosing to break the law. You engaged in an illegal activity, and you need to thank your lucky stars that your agency and your IPs are forgiving. But that doesn't make you completely off the hook.

Do you really believe your lifestyle is conducive to carrying another person's pregnancy for them? Will you have to hide pieces of your life from them if they visit your home? If the answer to that question is yes, you need to seriously rethink this. This isn't just offering to cat-sit for the weekend. This is taking their life savings, and their trust that you can grow their child safely.

Look at your little one and ask yourself how many people you would trust him/her with for 9 months without you being able to be there at all. THAT is the kind of trust they are putting in you. Can you honestly handle that?

I pointed out in the OPs original thread that you can find any info you want to back up your own side of things whether it's valid or not. Looks like she's sticking to the info she found.

To the bolded, I agree. The issues people had were about far more than if/when she consumed and if the OTC thing and passing were valid. There was plenty to have issue with based on what she posted about all the stuff she's exposed to. She made it sound like her failing the test was either because of OTC meds or all the exposure she had to what others were doing. At the least that second choice doesn't sound good.

[RobsChica]

Maybe she just uses a LOT of baby shampoo. (Actually, it's a very interesting article w/ a statistic about foster care I was unaware of and horrified by.)

[twinkiesmom]

Goodness! I used the Aveeno baby line for years w/ the Twinkies!

[RobsChica]

Goodness! I used the Aveeno baby line for years w/ the Twinkies!

Are they really really really calm? But hungry?

[Bristow]

Are they really really really calm? But hungry?

I had a boyfriend like that a long time ago. Nothing ever upset him. I found out he smoked a bowl a day, every single day. He was skinny as heck though.

[mgrimmgoss]

Are they really really really calm? But hungry?

BAHhahaha!

[RobsChica]

I had a boyfriend like that a long time ago. Nothing ever upset him. I found out he smoked a bowl a day, every single day. He was skinny as heck though.

My bowl-smoking, 11-years-younger boyfriend was a big eater but a terrible study partner. Loved my jokes too, so it wasn't easy to finally dump him. Had to explain that's what I was doing a couple times in a row, that sort of drive home the point (to me, at least). Aside from his bowl-a-morning habit he was genuinely the most honest, straightforward guy; had a good computer job, in school full-time, played pick-up hockey, had his head on straight when it came to money, even took being his 7 year-old sister's godfather very seriously. Not having done drugs I can't understand what that bowl meant to him but he rarely missed it.

[tracyp3283]

I have a few questions for Miss Hopeful

In your previous post you say you were honest? After you were caught or your agency knew about all those things you said prior to matching you and clearance appt?

Also, now they accepted you to move forward?

Something doesn't sound right!

[ButterflyDream]

I'm sorry u all spend so much time on here that u think I'm someone else. I did refrain from weed long enough to pass a drug test. Who ever reviews my post is not posting them. I got a false positive. Do the research on the OTC MEDS that can cause a false positive. Luckly my agency doesn't think like u all & I re-tested today :p came back all clear & we are still proceeding!!!! I'm grateful my IPs & I have built a trusting relationship. I ate a edible back in dec. I'm not saying it was the right thing nor am i saying legalize weed. People make mistakes & thankfully I have been forgive for mine & praised for my honesty. I will do whatever IPs ask. Submit to random drug test at my own expense because i know i messed up. But there is still no reason to ATTACK. some if the women came off so viciously. I don't thing weed is great nor am I a "druggie" but on thr medical side meds derived from thc have benifits. So I can be called a druggie (which i thought was rude) but if I say go crawl in a hole I'm rude?! Huh?! What I did was a mistake!!! One said that. I was only looking for advice on how tell my IPs!!!!!!! I am in no way trying to cheapen surros or surrogacy. I didn't get into this for $$. I was also not trying to cause sny drama on the sight. The reason I signed up was to be make to have an outlet for questions. I will not be posting any more as i feel run off.

With regards to the bolded, it shouldn't be just long enough to pass a drug test; but rather as long as you are raising children, if not longer. There is no way that I, as an IM, would ever work with a surrogate who has partaken in the last 6 years, much less 6 months. We are spending tens of thousands of dollars to become parents, and I am not willing to put my childrens' future health and development in the hands of someone who spends a lot of time with people using marijuana.

For the record, I do believe that there are valid medical uses for marijuana. I have friends who suffer from chronic illnesses, and the "standard of care" pain medications either don't work on them or cause allergic reactions. But they are not trying to conceive children for themselves or carry them for others--they are only trying to live without crippling pain in a state that allows for that type of "medication". And since they use it in a controlled manner, in a safe environment that does not put others at risk, I don't fault them for it. But that is far, far different from what the OP mentioned when discussing her lifestyle.

[sillymommy]

Not sure what "please" means in the title page. Its hard to gain respect when you insult someone who is a very important part of this board, and someone we all respect. She put herself out there, sharing something that was not easy for her trying to help you.

I personally would have thought that an agency or IP's would have taken the drug test as a huge flag and dropped you like a hot potato. Unfortunatly, it sounds like they are both desperate. There is alot of valuable information on this board. Please read and do everything you can to make sure that the child you will be born healthy. In the future, listen, insults only add to the injury.

[tm501]

[QUOTE=misshopeful;2460298]I'm sorry u all spend so much time on here that u think I'm someone else. I did refrain from weed long enough to pass a drug test. Who ever reviews my post is not posting them. I got a false positive. Do the research on the OTC MEDS that can cause a false positive. Luckly my agency doesn't think like u all & I re-tested today :p came back all clear & we are still proceeding!!!! I'm grateful my IPs & I have built a trusting relationship. I ate a edible back in dec. I'm not saying it was the right thing nor am i saying legalize weed. People make mistakes & thankfully I have been forgive for mine & praised for my honesty. I will do whatever IPs ask. Submit to random drug test at my own expense because i know i messed up. But there is still no reason to ATTACK. some if the women came off so viciously. I don't thing weed is great nor am I a "druggie" but on thr medical side meds derived from thc have benifits. So I can be called a druggie (which i thought was rude) but if I say go crawl in a hole I'm rude?! Huh?! What I did was a mistake!!! QUOTE]

I'm the one who made the druggie remark. If the shoe fits- wear it. If I came off viciously, too bad! You refrained long enough to pass a medical test? Are you crazy? Hopefully your PIP's come on here and see EXACTLY what you posted. And to think that posting a message like your original question, that we would all be sweet about it just shows how out there you are.

Bye and don't let the door hit you

[susanb573]

I believe you were "attacked" as you say because to many of us surrogacy is a wonderful, blessed part of our lives and we get sicker than snot of people coming in and making the rest of us look bad because of their actions or their motivations.

I would expect any surrogate of mine to not have been around drugs or done drugs for many years prior to matching with me. That "phase" of your life needs to be over (or better yet, I would choose a surrogate that never went through that phase). So while your test may have been a false positive, you freely admit that you had an edible a mere six months ago and hang around lots of great people that smoke weed (do they not have jobs that drug test?) so in my mind and in the mind of many others, you are not surrogate material.

[cousinmommy]

Not sure what "please" means in the title page. Its hard to gain respect when you insult someone who is a very important part of this board, and someone we all respect. She put herself out there, sharing something that was not easy for her trying to help you.

I personally would have thought that an agency or IP's would have taken the drug test as a huge flag and dropped you like a hot potato. Unfortunatly, it sounds like they are both desperate. There is alot of valuable information on this board. Please read and do everything you can to make sure that the child you will be born healthy. In the future, listen, insults only add to the injury.

I seriously question this agency if her load of BS is true. Desperate sounds like a likely culprit too. We all know desperation leads to train wrecks. All aboard!