Why does BMI matter?

[ReginaHopeful]

I was just wondering why thick women can't be surrogates? I know everyone says that overweight women aren't healthy blah blah blah, but I am 31, I have three healthy children, and I am thicker than what the specs say I should be. Most the women in my family are thick. I have twin 7 year olds and a 7 month old and I had no major problems during pregnancy. I don't drink, don't smoke, never done drugs, I'm caring, friendly, and would love to carry a baby for a couple, but because I'm told I'm overweight, by their standards, I'm not permitted to.

[2moms3kids]

I would never qualify through an agency because of my BMI and that's why I only do Indy!! I am sorry you are struggling. Good luck!
Sarah

[2boys1princess]

I would assume because the "thicker" you are, the level of risks increase with pregnancy. I do agree that some BMI standards are unrealistic but there should definitely be a rule in place when we are having babies for other people.

[ReginaHopeful]

I would never qualify through an agency because of my BMI and that's why I only do Indy!! I am sorry you are struggling. Good luck!
Sarah

I have no idea where to start to be an independent.

[InsertNameHere]

I was just wondering why thick women can't be surrogates? I know everyone says that overweight women aren't healthy blah blah blah, but I am 31, I have three healthy children, and I am thicker than what the specs say I should be. Most the women in my family are thick. I have twin 7 year olds and a 7 month old and I had no major problems during pregnancy. I don't drink, don't smoke, never done drugs, I'm caring, friendly, and would love to carry a baby for a couple, but because I'm told I'm overweight, by their standards, I'm not permitted to.

Have you had any issues with your pregnancies?

Of course, health concerns can arise with a high BMI (pregnant or not).....

I admire your altruistic motives.

[jlm4]

I agree with Krystle that some BMI restrictions are quite high, but please bear in mind that surrogates are carrying someone else's baby and they must be held up to a higher standard than they may have held up for themselves.

This is a concise and plainly written answer from The March of Dimes:

What kinds of pregnancy complications can overweight and obesity cause?
If you’re overweight or obese, you’re more likely than pregnant women at a healthy weight to have certain medical problems during pregnancy. The more overweight you are, the higher your risk for problems. These problems include:

Infertility, not being able to get pregnant
Miscarriage, when a baby dies in the womb before 20 weeks of pregnancy
Stillbirth, when a baby dies in the womb before birth but after 20 weeks of pregnancy
High blood pressure and preeclampsia, a form of high blood pressure that only pregnant women get. It can cause serious problems for mom and baby.
Gestational diabetes, diabetes that some women get during pregnancy
Complications during labor and birth, including having a really big baby (called large-for-gestational-age) or needing a cesarean section (c-section)
Some of these problems, like preeclampsia, can increase your chances of preterm birth. Preterm birth is birth before 37 completed weeks of pregnancy. This is too soon and can cause serious health problems for your baby.

Can overweight and obesity during pregnancy cause problems for your baby?
Most babies of overweight and obese women are born healthy. But overweight and obesity during pregnancy can cause health problems for your baby. These include:

Birth defects, including neural tube defects (NTDs). NTDs are birth defects of the brain and spine.
Preterm birth
Injury, like shoulder dystocia, during birth because the baby is large
Death after birth
Being obese during childhood
Being diabetic

[LauraElizabeth]

Hi. Welcome to SMO!!

There are many girls that have asked the same question. I will tell you that I think the BMI is unfair to some and for others it is used to weed out those that are too heavy to safely carry a pregnancy- especially when it is someone else's. My BMI is high, yet I wear a size 12 and my weight was never even brought up during matching/cycling/transferring/carrying/delivering. Sometimes you just never know.

[Juliana]

Hello and welcome.

BMI matters because obesity puts a pregnancy at a statistical risk. Also, obese women are less likely to get pregnant via IVF. IPs and clinics in general are not willing to work with a surrogate who puts them at a statistical disadvantage (regardless of how lovely you might be or how easily you got pregnant and gave birth to ***your own*** kids).

With that said, there is large disagreement as to what makes a BMI "too high." You may very well find IPs and clinics willing to work with you, especially since you have a history of proven health and fertility.

If you search "BMI" using the search function on the toolbar above, you will find a plethora of threads regarding it.

Good Luck!

[Rebekah Rose]

Do you mind sharing what your BMI is, and by who's standards your BMI is too high? Every agency and clinic has different requirements.

As PP have said there are BMI guidelines for a reason, obesity can cause issues with the cycling meds, getting pregnant and the pregnancy itself and parent's who are looking for a carrier want as many variables as possible removed to give them the best chance at having a successful pregnancy with their surrogate. That said, depending on where you are at it is possible you might be accepted by some clinics and some agencies. It could also be a matter of taking the time to loose 15-20 lbs (or whatever number is needed to get you to your goal) and then revisit surrogacy. Good luck!

[ReginaHopeful]

My BMI is currently 36.6

The agencies I looked into have had a max BMI rangeing anywhere from 28-35.

In my first pregnancy, which was twin girls. I went into preterm labor, but it was stopped. Vaginal birth to two healthy girls at 36 weeks. No diabetes. I was under military medical and they said I had preeclampsia, but I don't believe I was diagnosed right.

My second pregnancy I had no big problems. I had morning sickness, hardly any swelling, no diabetes, gave birth 3 days before the due date. Vaginal delivery. She is now 7 months and the main reason I want to help others.

[tm501]

Have you tried different agencies? I am medically considered obese because of my BMI, yet a clinic has not had a problem working with me because of it. I did have gd in 2 of the 3 surrogate pregnancies. All 3 boys were born healthy and to this day are healthy.

[ReginaHopeful]

I have started trying to lose weight, it is incentive because this is something I really want to do. My BMI is currently 38.7 and I have looked at many Surrogate agencies which have a max BMI of 28-35.

I have been pregnant twice. First with twin girls. I had them at 36 weeks, vaginal delivery. I was under military medical and they said I had preeclampsia, but I don't believe I was diagnosed right. They were completely healthy and both above 5 pounds.

My second birth was a girl. No big problems, morning sickness, no diabetes, she was born vaginal also. She is now 7 months and the main reason I have decided that I want to be a surrogate.

[wbwatts]

being overweight or obese just poses issues that healthy bmis don't pose. it's just a general higher risk pregnancy. if this something you're really serious about losing weight should be something you should think about.

[ButterflyDream]

I was ok with our surro being overweight, but not obese. Pregnancy already places strain on the body, and even more so with someone who already has extra weight. Plus, a lot of times women gain weight whilst on cycling meds, due to all the additional hormones being introduced to their systems.

As an IM, it often comes down to risks. The deck is already stacked against us, so I'm going to do everything I can to even the odds. Since there's a greater risk of things not working or harm to my baby when an obese woman is involved with carrying them, one way for me to lower that risk is to work with someone who doesn't have that issue.

I'm fully aware that for some women, BMI does them a horrible injustice. A friend of mine is almost pure muscle because she eats healthy and works out 10+ hours a week. Unfortunately, all that muscle causes her BMI to be in the near-obese range--though one would never guess it to look at her. So sometimes one needs to take circumstances into account, rather than just the number on a piece of paper.

I agree with the other ladies. If surrogacy is important to you, then losing a few pounds beforehand may be worth it to get your foot in the door.

[mgrimmgoss]

I was ok with our surro being overweight, but not obese. Pregnancy already places strain on the body, and even more so with someone who already has extra weight. Plus, a lot of times women gain weight whilst on cycling meds, due to all the additional hormones being introduced to their systems.

As an IM, it often comes down to risks. The deck is already stacked against us, so I'm going to do everything I can to even the odds. Since there's a greater risk of things not working or harm to my baby when an obese woman is involved with carrying them, one way for me to lower that risk is to work with someone who doesn't have that issue.

I'm fully aware that for some women, BMI does them a horrible injustice. A friend of mine is almost pure muscle because she eats healthy and works out 10+ hours a week. Unfortunately, all that muscle causes her BMI to be in the near-obese range--though one would never guess it to look at her. So sometimes one needs to take circumstances into account, rather than just the number on a piece of paper.

I agree with the other ladies. If surrogacy is important to you, then losing a few pounds beforehand may be worth it to get your foot in the door.

This exactly! We've discussed this before here. I know a number of surros here on the board who have lost a few pounds because they were determined to be/continue as surrogates! Good luck to you, OP.

[Duck]

Like others have mentioned its really about stats and IPs want to work with someone who has a much better chance of carrying a healthy baby to term.

But, there is a big difference between being overweight, or having a higher bmi because your muscular and being obese.

Obesity is liked to health concerns for both the baby and the surrogate, and in the long run being obese is strongly associated with all kinds of health issues(cancer, cardiovascular disease, diabetes). Some doctors consider being obese to be just as dangerous for your health as smoking.

If surrogacy is something you want to do then it may just be the inspiration you need to get your BMI down into the healthier range.

[babymakes2]

I agree with what other have posted here. I am overweight and when I started pursing surrogacy my BMI was in the obese range... I didn't have a lot of weight to lose to get below the obese range BMI, but I took some time to lose the weight. I learned early on that the clinic we were using had a higher BMI limit than my agency, but for me it wasn't just about making it in under the limit; I really wanted to be healthier for the pregnancy, both for myself and my IP's and potential surro-babes. I knew there would be a higher risk of multiples and I was worried about hurting my back or increasing my risks for bedrest or other complications. I did gain some of the weight back on the cycling meds, too, so I was even happier to start out weighing less.

That said, I had my BMI tested at my ND's office using the machine they hook up to electrodes (to do a BIA) and then to you, and my BMI was several points lower (and not in the obese range) than what the agency/clinic calculated. While I am overweight and have body fat to lose, I also have a lot of muscle and I'm quite healthy. My ND said she'd be happy to write something and give those BIA results showing the detail of my body fat, lean body mass, and BMI associated with those numbers. She felt that I was much healthier than a lot of people who are much thinner. Obviously body weight/BMI are not the only indicators of health, but clinics and IP's have to use something in order to weed out women who truly aren't healthy enough to be a surrogate.

I ended up losing around 35lbs before getting pregnant. I gained 30lbs with my surrogate pregnancy (twins) (as well as a few lbs while cycling), and believe me I was happy not to have been carrying around 30 extra lbs on top of that!

As we'd all tell any newbie, take some time to research, research, research... and read, read, read! Use the SMO search function, follow someone who has completed a journey from the beginning to the end if possible, ask more questions, talk to your support system at home about it.... and in the time it takes you to do that, you can hopefully take off some of the weight and meet the guidelines of the agency and clinic of YOUR choosing. (FWIW, I found other agencies that would accept me at a higher BMI, but I wanted to use the clinic I chose after lots of research and communication and I am so glad I did!)

Good luck and welcome to SMO!!

[cousinmommy]

As we'd all tell any newbie, take some time to research, research, research... and read, read, read! Use the SMO search function, follow someone who has completed a journey from the beginning to the end if possible, ask more questions, talk to your support system at home about it.... and in the time it takes you to do that, you can hopefully take off some of the weight and meet the guidelines of the agency and clinic of YOUR choosing. (FWIW, I found other agencies that would accept me at a higher BMI, but I wanted to use the clinic I chose after lots of research and communication and I am so glad I did!)

Good luck and welcome to SMO!!

Agreed. FWIW - I think it only takes an average of a 5lb loss to lose a point on the BMI chart.

[ReginaHopeful]

Do you mind sharing what your BMI is, and by who's standards your BMI is too high? Every agency and clinic has different requirements.

As PP have said there are BMI guidelines for a reason, obesity can cause issues with the cycling meds, getting pregnant and the pregnancy itself and parent's who are looking for a carrier want as many variables as possible removed to give them the best chance at having a successful pregnancy with their surrogate. That said, depending on where you are at it is possible you might be accepted by some clinics and some agencies. It could also be a matter of taking the time to loose 15-20 lbs (or whatever number is needed to get you to your goal) and then revisit surrogacy. Good luck!

I've tried replying a couple times but it doesn't get posted for some reason.

I have already started to lose some weight, I really don't think I need 10 people telling me I need to lose weight, that is the obvious answer. I was just curious why big women have babies everyday without complications and yet there are so many restrictions. I did not see one website that mentioned a minimal BMI, aren't there risks with being too skinny also? Most the websites I looked on had a maximum BMI of 28-35. I am currently 38.7

[AlwaysHopeful]

Hi and Welcome!

I am a larger girl as well, and there are agencies that will work with you- it might take longer to match because you will have to find a clinic that will work with you-

I was matched then disqualified by the clinic at my intial screening due to my weight. I did loose a little weight between matches, but the clinic I am with now- has never once mentioned my weight or weighed me... FWIW- I am pregnant with twins now.

If its your dream, it can't hurt to try and loose a little to make the process of matching easier- but it can be done!

Good Luck to you!