Hey! Another "newbie" here.

[Melody]

My name is Melody. I am 29. (GASP) I am married with 2 children. I have been throwing the surrogacy idea around for a few years but just started getting serious about it. I have been looking around the boards here for a few days. There is SO MUCH TO LEARN. I guess at this point I have a few things holding me back:
1. MY HUSBAND (he isn't 100 percent into this)
2. I don't have insurance
3. I have a PRN med for anxiety (that I take once a mo or less? IDK if that will be a problem or not?)

I guess those would be my top 3 problems. Anyway, I am in PA. (The harrisburg area) if anyone is from the area? Has suggestions on agencies, etc...

[mowarmom]

I'm not from your area and can't suggest any agencies, I'm also a newbie (then why am I even posting right )

Just wanted to say welcome! I think your first move is to be absolutely sure that this is something you want to do and next step would probably be to get your hubby on board because no agency will allow you to continue without his full support. Maybe if you create a PowerPoint or something! I love making powerpoints! Or go through the list of pros and cons with him, maybe ask him what his specific concerns are and address them individually. As far as the meds go, I think your best bet is to talk to the agency you are interested in to see if it would be ok. Some MIGHT be ok with it because you have to pass the psych eval which should determine if you are sound in mind. Most probably will not be ok with it though. It is a mentally draining process, just something to think about. Anyways, there's my two cents! I hope that I helped you

[sillymommy]

I sent you an email, just so you know where I am coming from.

I stand behind the fact that I truely do not think any woman should be a surrogate until they are done with having their own families. But of course I will be supportive if you continue.

[twinsmom4]

First and foremost your hubby needs to be on board with you being a surrogate. There can be a lot of strain put on a marriage at times during surrogacy for various reasons and if there is already a rift because he does not agree then it could make things worse for you and your IP's. Try to get all the information you can and give him the info and try talking about it in depth to find out what his reservations are about. I also agree with Becky, if you are not finished with your own family then it would be best to wait till you are to be a surrogate. I know others may not agree but there are ladies that are women that have lost their own fertility due to being a surrogate. Make sure it is something that you are willing to risk.

[Melody]

Oh, we are 100% done!! We are MORE then pleased with the 2 we have. My husband had a vasectomy a few years ago!! I will ONLY do it if he 100% agreeable. (because I obviously need his help for many different things.)

[Melody]

I sent you an email, just so you know where I am coming from.

I stand behind the fact that I truely do not think any woman should be a surrogate until they are done with having their own families. But of course I will be supportive if you continue.

I don't believe I got your email?

[ButterflyDream]

I don't believe I got your email?

I believe the e-mail was sent to mowarmom.

As an IM, the insurance thing isn't a deal-breaker. Our GS didn't have insurance prior to the surrogacy, so we're paying for her policy. We did ask for her to lower her comp (essentially splitting the cost of insurance), and she agreed to do so.

However, I would be very leery of working with someone whose husband was not supportive. You're going to be on lots of hormones (he might end having to be the one to do the injections), probably dealing with morning sickness, possibly stuck on bedrest, and generally needing some extra help. If he's not 100% on board, it will put a strain on your marriage--and I don't want my desire to have a family to cause someone else's to break up.

Like Tiffiny said, find out what his reservations are, and why. If it's because he doesn't know much about surrogacy, then do your research and try to educate him. But if he stays adamant about not wanting you to do it, then I would advise against pursuing surrogacy.

[Melody]

Opps! Ya i think you are right about the email. My mom (and my self) are nurses so she would be helping with all that stuff. His only worry is what I am putting myself thru. He already helps a ton around the house, cooks dinner, etc so none of that bothers him. He works overnights and I work days. So he takes care of the kids, etc. But as I said before, I won't do it if he isn't 100 percent agreeable. Right now we are trying to work thru all that and during that time I am getting info.

[rosequeen]

Hi Melody!!!! Guess what!? I live in the Harrisburg area!!! Email me if you would! rosequeen33@verizon.net I'd love to chat and connect to you! I am working on my second journey and had a wonderful experience with an agency.

[Melody]

OH! I am so excited. I am going to email you right now.