midwife? home birth?

[Serendipity]

When and how did you (as a surrogate) mention wanting a midwife to your IPs?

I am VERY new to this whole things - but already have a potential match. We have only talked once (and came to agreement on when to begin, to only transfer 1 embryo at a time, about reduction, etc.) - and they know that I am a doula. But I have not yet mentioned that i would prefer to use a midwife (mainly because I am still trying to make up my mind of which provider/hospital is my top choice). I don't want to get to far in the process before discussing this - but I am not sure the best avenue to bring it up (or how to best answer their questions/misgivings - as they are international, in a country that has a very medical birth culture, and they are 2 men who work in healthcare)

any thoughts would be great!! thanks!

I put it in my ad or in my profile with the agency. Talked about it early and often. I didn't want to talk anyone into midwifery/homebirth or have someone try to talk me out of it (I don't think either side should be compromising on choice of care), so I put it out there front and center to be sure we were all on the same page from the beginning.

If you're already this far into talking, I think you need to bring it up ASAP. "Hey guys-- I've had my other kids with a midwife and that's something I'm wanting to do with a surrogate pregnancy too. Is that something you feel comfortable with?" If the answer is no, better to know now so everybody can keep looking. Good luck.

[G_Surrogate]

I've used a midwife for my last two surro pregnancies. It's something I talk about at our first face-face meeting and something that's in my agency profile. I also use a doula during birth. My IP's are also encouraged to "catch" their baby and do skin-to-skin immediately providing everything is medically okay. Home births with surro's have certainly been done, provided it's something your IP's want and are comfortable with.