midwife? home birth?

[takes_a_village]

I have not started with surrogacy yet but am wondering if any of you ladies use a midwife and not a obgyn? if you do then has anyone thought of doing a home birth? i would really like to try a home birth (mind u the hospital is like 5 min from my house if i got cold feet) but am not sure if it has been done in surrogacy.

[roadfamily6now]

yes it has. You just need to ensure your IP's are 100% on board.

[braejuma]

I have used a midwife with one of my own pregnancies and my recently completed surrogacy. Personally, I wouldnt do it any other way. This is just my personal opinion.
If my IPs were comfortable with it, I would have loved to attempt a home birth. I was supposed to have a hb with my daughter, but at the last minute when her heart rate was coming up and not going back down again, so we went to the hospital (turned out she was fine, but better to be safe then sorry). While I cannot comment really on hb and surrogacy, I can say that going with the midwife is the best decision I feel we made and my IPs would agree. They felt that our midwife made every effort possible to make sure that they were treated like the parents (as they should be) and they felt very included in the whole process. My IM even told the midwife this (who got teary eyed) and my midwife told us she felt very privelaged to be a part of this journey and and honored to have been there and witness such an amazing thing. It was awesome...but then again, I happen to have an awesome midwife

Long and short of it...I dont see why you shouldnt go the home birth route if thats what you want to do, surrogacy or not...it would be a beautiful experience for everyone. My midwife let IM "catch" baby. And while I could be wrong, I dont know that many OBs would let the IM do that...but I am speculating. Home birth or not....I would still highly reccommend a midwife. I will never deliver another baby without a midwife (unless somthing came up of course)...to me, its important enough that I will not match with IPs that wont work with a midwife.

[jlm4]

I would use the Search feature - many IPs are open to midwife care and homebirth.

My midwife let IM "catch" baby. And while I could be wrong, I dont know that many OBs would let the IM do that...but I am speculating.

Many OBs welcome parents and IPs to catch their babies. Our surro's OB offered us the opportunity, but I declined as I was nervous. It was just as well because I was holding our surro's leg and shortly after deliver baby boy was whisked off by the NICU team!

[rideahead]

All three of my TS babies were born at home (by a midwife). My first, was my first home/water birth. Second, was born "on land" so her mom could deliver her. Third, came so darn fast that the water tub didn't have time to arrive, dad was able to catch.

My next to come, first GS, will be a home/water birth as well - with mom catching. This is where I feel safest for myself and the child I'm carrying, and I make sure I'm with IPs who feel just as strongly and would choose to deliver at home themselves if they were the ones delivering.

[Ann Hamilton]

Of course it can be done IF the IPs are on board and it isn't a multiple pregnancy. I would suggest midwives for every pregnancy as I found them very surrogate friendly. Alas, I can not use them anymore as I have had a couple of C-sections. Even though I have had a V-bac, they feel that I am high risk. Of course if your delivery has to be a section then the OB is the way to go. Best wishes!
Ann

[cookie]

We had an OB/hospital birth with the first surrogacy, but with this sibling journey, we have a midwife. We will be delivering in a birth center. I had my daughter at home, but I have no interest in having surro-babies at my home, because I feel it is a bit too personal. To me, a birth center is perfect because it has the "home-like" atmosphere, but I won't have to worry about cleaning up or being a hostess!

[VeryLuckyGS]

Of course it can be done IF the IPs are on board and it isn't a multiple pregnancy. I would suggest midwives for every pregnancy as I found them very surrogate friendly. Alas, I can not use them anymore as I have had a couple of C-sections. Even though I have had a V-bac, they feel that I am high risk. Of course if your delivery has to be a section then the OB is the way to go. Best wishes!
Ann

I had 2 HBAC. My midwife had a birth center and she was a home birth midwife. If you had a prior c-section she could not deliver in the birth center. (Stupid Florida Laws). Anyways - she has done HBA2C's and just recently a HBA3C's - HOWEVER - be reminded - the IP's need to be 100% on board!

Good Luck OP! Home births are AWESOME!

[dahlia]

I had a hospital birth, but was in the care of a midwife all the up until the end with twins. My IPs were actually happy I preferred midwifery care.

[Babybug]

Of course it can be done IF the IPs are on board and it isn't a multiple pregnancy. I would suggest midwives for every pregnancy as I found them very surrogate friendly. Alas, I can not use them anymore as I have had a couple of C-sections. Even though I have had a V-bac, they feel that I am high risk. Of course if your delivery has to be a section then the OB is the way to go. Best wishes!
Ann

Midwives here do VBACs all the time.

I had midwives last time and it was great. I am not interested in a home birth simply because I think it would be a bit awkward for me to birth at home if it's not my baby... a little too personal for me I guess? I did want to go home right away from the hospital but wasn't able to due to complications.

[takes_a_village]

I am so glad so many people are ok with it. I am not sure if I want to do one or not but it is an option that I would like to pursue and was just testing the waters as to if it were even thought of. I am glad I asked because I always envisioned a standard surrogacy birth to be very medical if that makes sense. (although the surrogacy I did for my best friend was in a hospital it was very loving and different than my picture) I hope the surrogacy I hope to begin will have that same personal feel at birth no matter where it takes place.

[MountainGS]

All three of my TS babies were born at home (by a midwife). My first, was my first home/water birth. Second, was born "on land" so her mom could deliver her. Third, came so darn fast that the water tub didn't have time to arrive, dad was able to catch.

My next to come, first GS, will be a home/water birth as well - with mom catching. This is where I feel safest for myself and the child I'm carrying, and I make sure I'm with IPs who feel just as strongly and would choose to deliver at home themselves if they were the ones delivering.

Susan, that's a great way of putting it...finding those who would do it themselves if it was them delivering...that's EXACTLY why I chose my IP's! And for me personally, Homebirth was never totally about intimacy so I don't feel awkward birthing at home with a surrobabe. It feels more about safety and empowerment for me BUT I do think it will be extremely intimate for my IP's. The midwife knows about our journey and is very open and welcoming. It just seems like a very quiet, protected way for them to meet this new little life and that's one of the reasons they're excited about a hopeful homebirth.

[SarahNC]

We're not having a homebirth, but we are having a midwife and a birth center. I let my wishes be known upfront, and found IPs that were on board with it right away. And now that they've met the midwife, they are even more excited about it.

[joyfulshannon]

When and how did you (as a surrogate) mention wanting a midwife to your IPs?

I am VERY new to this whole things - but already have a potential match. We have only talked once (and came to agreement on when to begin, to only transfer 1 embryo at a time, about reduction, etc.) - and they know that I am a doula. But I have not yet mentioned that i would prefer to use a midwife (mainly because I am still trying to make up my mind of which provider/hospital is my top choice). I don't want to get to far in the process before discussing this - but I am not sure the best avenue to bring it up (or how to best answer their questions/misgivings - as they are international, in a country that has a very medical birth culture, and they are 2 men who work in healthcare)

any thoughts would be great!! thanks!

[MountainGS]

I have not started with surrogacy yet but am wondering if any of you ladies use a midwife and not a obgyn? if you do then has anyone thought of doing a home birth? i would really like to try a home birth (mind u the hospital is like 5 min from my house if i got cold feet) but am not sure if it has been done in surrogacy.

Yep...we'll be having a midwife and doing a homebirth. It took a while to find IP's but I have and I'm confident they are 100% on board. They're actually really excited about it. IF took a bit to come around, and he's an MD. But he's fine with it now. Take your time, be VERY up front about what you're needing in IP's...people who know they wouldn't want it won't even respond to you which keeps the "surprise" value away and it's more likely that those who contact you will be more open to it but don't assume. I had to reiterate a few times to potential IP's that for a low risk pregnancy I felt safest at home with a midwife and that it wasn't something I could budge on. There are IP's out there who are HB friendly but it may take a bit of time. Totally worth it when you do find them!