Bestie to be TS for us in MN

[knucklesavamom]

My best friend has offered to be a TS for my husband and I. We have all agreed to keep as many "people" out of it as possible at the same time not do anything "illegal". Our plan is for a HI. To be quite honest we have the money, but our philosophy is why line the pockets of Dr's and agencies when we can put the money away for a college education. We have complete trust and honesty amongst the 3 of us. Our biggest concern is for after the birth. My husbands name will be listed as the father of course but what will/would be the procedure for her relinquishing her rights be? Is there a form that filed right from the hospital? And who exactly do we HAVE to get involved with this? Again...the fewer people involved in this the better. I am a very frugal person and would rather do the leg work myself rather then pay someone else...lol Any suggestions or advice will be greatly appreciated. Thank you!

[Diane Hinson]

Congratulations on having such a fantastic best friend. Now, here is my honest advice so that you keep her your best friend: Get two attorneys who specialize in surrogacy (one for you and one for her). You are not "lining anyone pockets." You are hiring someone who specializes in the legal issues of what is a VERY complex area of the law. In many states if you don't dot your i's and cross your t's just right, you will not be able to secure your legal rights. Also, what happens if you and your husband get hit by a bus while your friend is pregnant? Is she signing up to be the parent of this child forever too? What happens if there are congenital defects and you want to terminate -- are you on the same page? If you stop now and work through all these issues -- before anyone is on hormones -- then you can enjoy the pregnancy.

Also, the medical guidelines of the American Society of Reproductive Medicine suggest that you, your husband, and the surrogate all meet with a social worker or psychologist who specializes in this field. Again, this is not to make money for any professional but to make sure that you are all aware of the complexities of the surrogacy relationship -- and, in your case, to make sure you are all in sync on what role (or lack thereof) your friend will have post-birth. Again, I highly recommend this for the sake of your friendship and a successful surrogacy relationship.

As for what has to be filed and when, that varies state by state and sometimes county by county. In some states, TS is illegal altogether. I cannot speak to the laws of MN. This is way too important not to get an attorney involved before you start down this path.

I am sorry if these weren't the answers you want to hear, but better to plan now so this can be a successful surrogacy journey!

Best of luck,
Diane

Diane Hinson, Esq.
Creative Family Connections LLC
2 Wisconsin Avenue, Suite 700
Chevy Chase, MD 20815
www.creativefamilyconnections.com