Surrogate Mothers Online Q & A: Why do you think surrogacy is/ not ethical? What do you think about surrogate mothers changing their minds (either after or during pregnancy) and wanting to keep the baby? Should this be legal?

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Surrogate Mothers Online Q & A

Q & A: Surrogacy In General

Miscellaneous surrogacy related questions that do not fit under any of the other categories

32. Why do you think surrogacy is/ not ethical? What do you think about surrogate mothers changing their minds (either after or during pregnancy) and wanting to keep the baby? Should this be legal? - Jade - Top

Jade,

Hello! Yes, I think surrogacy is very ethical. There is no difference between adoption and surrogacy. I see no difference between myself and a birth mother.

Your question about a surrogate changing her mind and wanting to keep the child. That is a difficult one. I don't think any surrogate should keep a child concieved for another family. But, if the child is in any harm or danger, I think it would be best the surrogate keep the child until the parents can take care of their child. UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES SHOULD A SURROGATE KEEP A CHILD BECAUSE HER MATERNAL NATURE HAS TOLD HER DIFFERENTLY.

Should the decision be illegal if it could be governed by law. No. I think surrogacy is still so new in this country that I don't know when that issue will ever be addressed.

I hope that answers all of your questions. And if you ever have anymore just drop me a line.

Jennifer S.

Jade,

I believe that surrogacy is just as ethical as adoption. The difference between surrogacy and adoption is that the surrogate chooses to get pregnant so someone else can have a child where as an adoption is usually the result of a birth mother deciding to have someone else raise the child she is already pregnant with. I do not think it is right nor should it be legal for surrogates to change their minds about keeping the baby because they are adults that read and signed a contract of their own free will. This is especially true of GS surrogates who have no biological ties to the children they are carrying. In AI if the surrogate changes her mind she should have to re-imburse the IPs everything and she should not be allowed to ask for child support because that is penalizing the IPs. If a surrogate changes her mind before getting pregnant she should tell the IPs or agency right away.

Surrogacy is not something to get involved in at the drop of a hat and by holding IP's and surrogates to their contracts it will make people think about what they are getting into before they start.

Lynn in VA

Dear Jade,

Thank you for your question. I personally have NEVER known anyone (surrogate mother) that wanted to keep the baby. I don't think it should be legal for the surrogate mother to keep a baby that they intended to hand over, even if they used their own egg. And if the surrogate mother is IVF, they are just giving back the baby not giving it up. That's what I tell people when that question comes to me. I hope this helps.

Sherry - Updated: February 13, 2000
Miscellaneous surrogacy related questions that do not fit under any of the other categories

32. Why do you think surrogacy is/ not ethical? What do you think about surrogate mothers changing their minds (either after or during pregnancy) and wanting to keep the baby? Should this be legal? - Jade - Top: Jade,

Hello! Yes, I think surrogacy is very ethical. There is no difference between adoption and surrogacy. I see no difference between myself and a birth mother.

Your question about a surrogate changing her mind and wanting to keep the child. That is a difficult one. I don't think any surrogate should keep a child concieved for another family. But, if the child is in any harm or danger, I think it would be best the surrogate keep the child until the parents can take care of their child. UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES SHOULD A SURROGATE KEEP A CHILD BECAUSE HER MATERNAL NATURE HAS TOLD HER DIFFERENTLY.

Should the decision be illegal if it could be governed by law. No. I think surrogacy is still so new in this country that I don't know when that issue will ever be addressed.

I hope that answers all of your questions. And if you ever have anymore just drop me a line.

Jennifer S.

Jade,

I believe that surrogacy is just as ethical as adoption. The difference between surrogacy and adoption is that the surrogate chooses to get pregnant so someone else can have a child where as an adoption is usually the result of a birth mother deciding to have someone else raise the child she is already pregnant with. I do not think it is right nor should it be legal for surrogates to change their minds about keeping the baby because they are adults that read and signed a contract of their own free will. This is especially true of GS surrogates who have no biological ties to the children they are carrying. In AI if the surrogate changes her mind she should have to re-imburse the IPs everything and she should not be allowed to ask for child support because that is penalizing the IPs. If a surrogate changes her mind before getting pregnant she should tell the IPs or agency right away.

Surrogacy is not something to get involved in at the drop of a hat and by holding IP's and surrogates to their contracts it will make people think about what they are getting into before they start.

Lynn in VA

Dear Jade,

Thank you for your question. I personally have NEVER known anyone (surrogate mother) that wanted to keep the baby. I don't think it should be legal for the surrogate mother to keep a baby that they intended to hand over, even if they used their own egg. And if the surrogate mother is IVF, they are just giving back the baby not giving it up. That's what I tell people when that question comes to me. I hope this helps.

Sherry - Updated: February 13, 2000

Unless stated otherwise, all responses in the SMO Q&A are courtesy of one or more of the following hosts:

Sherry - Experienced gestational surrogate currently working on her 2nd surrogacy arrangement

Linda - New Mommy to twins born via gestational surrogacy and egg donation

Jennifer S. - Experienced AI surrogate

Lynn - New Mommy to a daughter born via traditional surrogacy

Tracie - 5 time egg donor (triplets, 2 sets of twins and 2 singletons) and 3 time surrogate (2-AI, 1-IVF).

Lisa - Experienced egg donor and previous gestational surrogate currently working on her 2nd surrogacy arrangement (Lisa was our former ED host, prior to July 1999.)
Disclaimer: Responses from SMO Q&A Hosts do not necessarily represent the opinions and ideas of SMO. Neither the Q&A hosts nor SMO guarantee the accuracy or completeness of any information contained in the responses given here. As such, neither SMO nor the Q&A hosts are responsible for any errors or omissions or for the results obtained from the use of such information. Neither SMO nor the Q&A hosts shall be liable or responsible to any person or entity for any loss or damage caused, or alleged to have been caused, directly or indirectly by the information or ideas contained, suggested, or referenced in these responses.

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