Surrogate Mothers Online Q & A: I'd love for you to cite your references that 99% of birthmoms do NOT know the potential adoptive parents. That may have been true 30 years ago but certainly NOT today. With the advent of semi-open and open adoptions the parties get to know each other well before the child is born. As an adoptive mother or two who is very active in the adoption community, both on line and off, I'd have to say that many if not most adoptive situations now lean toward 'open'.

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Surrogate Mothers Online Q & A

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Miscellaneous surrogacy related questions that do not fit under any of the other categories

1. I'd love for you to cite your references that 99% of birthmoms do NOT know the potential adoptive parents. That may have been true 30 years ago but certainly NOT today. With the advent of semi-open and open adoptions the parties get to know each other well before the child is born. As an adoptive mother or two who is very active in the adoption community, both on line and off, I'd have to say that many if not most adoptive situations now lean toward 'open'. - Susan - Top

Susan,

Since you did not include an e-mail address in your questionnaire, I have to hope you'll read the reply online. I don't know the context of the
reference you are asking me to cite so I'm not sure if I'm addressing your question properly.

I agree that the majority of adoptions these days are open/semi-open. The "99%" was a general statement. I should have qualified it with, unless the birthmother relinquishes to a relative or family friend, the birthmother does not know the adoptive family until she is at least a couple months pregnant and I would venture to guess that it would more likely be closer to
the end of the second/beginning of the third trimester. You must admit that adoption allows a finite amount of time to get to know each other prior to the birth. In a surrogacy arrangement, all parties meet several months, sometimes even longer, prior to a pregnancy being established. This hopefully allows time to get to know each other and decide if this is right for everyone without the stress of limited time or the emotional stress of pregnancy entering into the decision.

Linda - Updated: April 17, 2000
Miscellaneous surrogacy related questions that do not fit under any of the other categories

1. I'd love for you to cite your references that 99% of birthmoms do NOT know the potential adoptive parents. That may have been true 30 years ago but certainly NOT today. With the advent of semi-open and open adoptions the parties get to know each other well before the child is born. As an adoptive mother or two who is very active in the adoption community, both on line and off, I'd have to say that many if not most adoptive situations now lean toward 'open'. - Susan - Top: Susan,

Since you did not include an e-mail address in your questionnaire, I have to hope you'll read the reply online. I don't know the context of the
reference you are asking me to cite so I'm not sure if I'm addressing your question properly.

I agree that the majority of adoptions these days are open/semi-open. The "99%" was a general statement. I should have qualified it with, unless the birthmother relinquishes to a relative or family friend, the birthmother does not know the adoptive family until she is at least a couple months pregnant and I would venture to guess that it would more likely be closer to
the end of the second/beginning of the third trimester. You must admit that adoption allows a finite amount of time to get to know each other prior to the birth. In a surrogacy arrangement, all parties meet several months, sometimes even longer, prior to a pregnancy being established. This hopefully allows time to get to know each other and decide if this is right for everyone without the stress of limited time or the emotional stress of pregnancy entering into the decision.

Linda - Updated: April 17, 2000

Unless stated otherwise, all responses in the SMO Q&A are courtesy of one or more of the following hosts:

Sherry - Experienced gestational surrogate currently working on her 2nd surrogacy arrangement

Linda - New Mommy to twins born via gestational surrogacy and egg donation

Jennifer S. - Experienced AI surrogate

Lynn - New Mommy to a daughter born via traditional surrogacy

Tracie - 5 time egg donor (triplets, 2 sets of twins and 2 singletons) and 3 time surrogate (2-AI, 1-IVF).

Lisa - Experienced egg donor and previous gestational surrogate currently working on her 2nd surrogacy arrangement (Lisa was our former ED host, prior to July 1999.)
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