Surrogate Mothers Online Q & A: Why do you feel you donate your eggs or carry a child for other people to parent? Why would you want to put your body through the trauma of having children for someone else? I know that these people love the children, but aren't you afraid that one might become an abuser or even worse?

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Surrogate Mothers Online Q & A

Q & A: Surrogacy In General

Miscellaneous surrogacy related questions that do not fit under any of the other categories

13. Why do you feel you donate your eggs or carry a child for other people to parent? Why would you want to put your body through the trauma of having children for someone else? I know that these people love the children, but aren't you afraid that one might become an abuser or even worse? - Top

Wow! Lots of questions. Here we go.......

1. Why do you feel you donate your eggs or carry a child for other people to parent?

Because infertility just like liver disease is not fair. There are hundreds of people who donate hearts, lungs, livers, corneas on a yearly basis, and it's just like that. It's to give something to someone who has lost something of importance and value.

2. Why would you want to put your body through
the trauma of having children for someone else?

First, I don't think pregnancy is a trauma. I think pregnancy is beautiful and empowering. And that is why surrogates do surrogacy. They love how they feel while they are pregnant. :)

Second, that is the problem with our society, it's all about me-me-me. And if we would all take that time to see others for who they are, and what everyone else is experiencing then maybe this world would be a better place. JMHO!!

3. I know that these people love the children, but aren't you afraid that one might become an abuser or even worse?

A lot of the couples are screened and have proven they are stable. It's a lot like an adoption process. But not as heart wrenching. Those situations happen in adoption and the sad part is that those situations happen to children who live with their biological parents. It's a big matter of trust. And going with what your heart tells you is best.

Jennifer
TS Scarlett 6/11/98 - Updated: February 13, 2000
Miscellaneous surrogacy related questions that do not fit under any of the other categories

13. Why do you feel you donate your eggs or carry a child for other people to parent? Why would you want to put your body through the trauma of having children for someone else? I know that these people love the children, but aren't you afraid that one might become an abuser or even worse? - Top: Wow! Lots of questions. Here we go.......

1. Why do you feel you donate your eggs or carry a child for other people to parent?

Because infertility just like liver disease is not fair. There are hundreds of people who donate hearts, lungs, livers, corneas on a yearly basis, and it's just like that. It's to give something to someone who has lost something of importance and value.

2. Why would you want to put your body through
the trauma of having children for someone else?

First, I don't think pregnancy is a trauma. I think pregnancy is beautiful and empowering. And that is why surrogates do surrogacy. They love how they feel while they are pregnant. :)

Second, that is the problem with our society, it's all about me-me-me. And if we would all take that time to see others for who they are, and what everyone else is experiencing then maybe this world would be a better place. JMHO!!

3. I know that these people love the children, but aren't you afraid that one might become an abuser or even worse?

A lot of the couples are screened and have proven they are stable. It's a lot like an adoption process. But not as heart wrenching. Those situations happen in adoption and the sad part is that those situations happen to children who live with their biological parents. It's a big matter of trust. And going with what your heart tells you is best.

Jennifer
TS Scarlett 6/11/98 - Updated: February 13, 2000

Unless stated otherwise, all responses in the SMO Q&A are courtesy of one or more of the following hosts:

Sherry - Experienced gestational surrogate currently working on her 2nd surrogacy arrangement

Linda - New Mommy to twins born via gestational surrogacy and egg donation

Jennifer S. - Experienced AI surrogate

Lynn - New Mommy to a daughter born via traditional surrogacy

Tracie - 5 time egg donor (triplets, 2 sets of twins and 2 singletons) and 3 time surrogate (2-AI, 1-IVF).

Lisa - Experienced egg donor and previous gestational surrogate currently working on her 2nd surrogacy arrangement (Lisa was our former ED host, prior to July 1999.)
Disclaimer: Responses from SMO Q&A Hosts do not necessarily represent the opinions and ideas of SMO. Neither the Q&A hosts nor SMO guarantee the accuracy or completeness of any information contained in the responses given here. As such, neither SMO nor the Q&A hosts are responsible for any errors or omissions or for the results obtained from the use of such information. Neither SMO nor the Q&A hosts shall be liable or responsible to any person or entity for any loss or damage caused, or alleged to have been caused, directly or indirectly by the information or ideas contained, suggested, or referenced in these responses.

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