Surrogacy and Egg Donation Q and A


Surrogate Mothers Online Q & A
    • Q & A: Telling Others

    Topics may include explaining surrogacy or egg donation to children, who to share the news with, dealing with those who disapprove, etc.

    1. Hi, I was wondering if you can help me. I need to tell my mother that I'm going to be a GS. I had talked to her aboutit it, but, she was against it. She said that she thought I was in it for the money. I'm not just doing this for the money. I don't see anything wrong with helping someone achieve their dream of becoming a parent when along the way they will also be helpign me out, by compensating me. That compensation will help my family just like I'm helping a couple with their family. Do you feel that this is wrong? Well I have already made arrangements with a couple and I don't know how to tell her. Any advice would help please!!!! - Emily in IN

    2. I am a single man about to begin a gestational surrogacy with a wonderful woman who has a husband and family of her own. She thinks I'll be a great father, however, I was wondering what I should tell the child about how he or she was conceived. When does this usually come up, and does it cause any trauma to the child? - Evan

    3. Did you feel that you will be able to tell your child she was a surrogate baby? - Aspen in Louisiana

    4. I am married and have three kids and I am 3 days from the transfer date, my husband is becoming insucure about this how can I help him accept this and be happy with what I am doing? - Christina in CA

    5. I'm about to be an AI surrogate..and though I have no problems with what I'm doing and why I'm doing it, I realize others might. Can you give me some answers you might say when someone says, "Why are you selling your own baby??" ...or "How can you give up a baby??" ...or "You're sinning!" ...or "Why can't they adopt??" or even from family members who say "You're giving away a member of our family??" Sometimes I'm not quick with the good answers as I'd like to be. I'd like to know what others have done in similiar situations with disapproving people. - Carla in Laredo

    6. My husband is concerned that if I were to be a GS and the genetic mother and father divorced before the child was born or if they decided they did not want it then what would happen and wouldn't I feel morally responsible for the child. have you ever heard of this happening? Any suggestions on what to tell my husband ? Also - I could realy use some input on how to help my husband understand my desire to be a GS. I have read a lot of what's on the web page and shared it all with him, but it's not enough. Help!! - Kris in OH

    7. What type of conflicting attitudes do you recieve over your surrogacy arrangements? - Olivia Mooney in Wesley College, Victoria, Australia

    8. I am a gestational surrogate. I am also a first grade teacher. Do you know any surrogates that are teachers? What has been their experience? I would appreciate your suggestions regarding when and what I should tell my first grade students and their parents. - Kelli in CA

    Unless stated otherwise, all responses in the SMO Q&A are courtesy of one or more of the following hosts:
    • Sherry - Experienced gestational surrogate currently working on her 2nd surrogacy arrangement
    • Linda - New Mommy to twins born via gestational surrogacy and egg donation
    • Jennifer S. - Experienced AI surrogate
    • Lynn - New Mommy to a daughter born via traditional surrogacy
    • Tracie - 5 time egg donor (triplets, 2 sets of twins and 2 singletons) and 3 time surrogate (2-AI, 1-IVF).
    • Lisa - Experienced egg donor and previous gestational surrogate currently working on her 2nd surrogacy arrangement (Lisa was our former ED host, prior to July 1999.)
    Disclaimer: Responses from SMO Q&A Hosts do not necessarily represent the opinions and ideas of SMO. Neither the Q&A hosts nor SMO guarantee the accuracy or completeness of any information contained in the responses given here. As such, neither SMO nor the Q&A hosts are responsible for any errors or omissions or for the results obtained from the use of such information. Neither SMO nor the Q&A hosts shall be liable or responsible to any person or entity for any loss or damage caused, or alleged to have been caused, directly or indirectly by the information or ideas contained, suggested, or referenced in these responses.

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