Surrogate Mothers Online Q & A: What do you do if you are donating anonymously and would just like some idea who will be getting your eggs, not alot of info just enough to make you feel more at ease, like how long they have been trying, what they are like together and individually, etc. I just wish now I had had that information during the process, the support of that committment would have ben very helpful during the ups and downs of meds. My retrieval is tomorrow at 10, wish me luck! - <A HREF="mailto:mkdbad@nishanet.com">Bess</A> in VA

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Surrogate Mothers Online Q & A

Q & A: Emotional Issues - Egg Donation

Topics may include the IM's feelings about not being the biological mother of her child, the IM's and ED's feelings regarding anonymity, etc.

4. What do you do if you are donating anonymously and would just like some idea who will be getting your eggs, not alot of info just enough to make you feel more at ease, like how long they have been trying, what they are like together and individually, etc. I just wish now I had had that information during the process, the support of that committment would have ben very helpful during the ups and downs of meds. My retrieval is tomorrow at 10, wish me luck! - Bess in VA - Top

Dear Bess,

You may be able to ask the nurse coordinating your cycle if you could just know a few of the things that the potential parents have gone through, and if a pregnancy results. It really depends on your contract, and whether or not any information is allowed to be disclosed.

Your nurse may ask the potential parents to write a non-identifing letter about themselves, what their interests are, and their views on life. I would highly recommend a program in the future, which allows you to select your couple from some profiles, and contains a brief biography on their lives.

I met both of my couples prior to working with them, just to make sure that I was content with the whole process. In my first egg donation, I recieved called during the medication process, and was told a pregnancy resulted - that was the end of contact.

With my second donation, I met the couple, and we also had phone contact during the meds. After the retrieval, the IF gave me a beautiful Candle inlaid with dried flowers.

I received a call from them on day 12, telling me that their surrogate was PG! They were so excited, that when I hung up, I cried from the sheer joy in their voices. I never expected to hear from them again, but they are the most wonderful people in the world, and have remained in contact with me to this day. This is not the usual outcome, but it has been so rewarding for me. By the way, they had twins:)

Lisa E - Updated: February 13, 2000
Topics may include the IM's feelings about not being the biological mother of her child, the IM's and ED's feelings regarding anonymity, etc.

4. What do you do if you are donating anonymously and would just like some idea who will be getting your eggs, not alot of info just enough to make you feel more at ease, like how long they have been trying, what they are like together and individually, etc. I just wish now I had had that information during the process, the support of that committment would have ben very helpful during the ups and downs of meds. My retrieval is tomorrow at 10, wish me luck! - Bess in VA - Top: Dear Bess,

You may be able to ask the nurse coordinating your cycle if you could just know a few of the things that the potential parents have gone through, and if a pregnancy results. It really depends on your contract, and whether or not any information is allowed to be disclosed.

Your nurse may ask the potential parents to write a non-identifing letter about themselves, what their interests are, and their views on life. I would highly recommend a program in the future, which allows you to select your couple from some profiles, and contains a brief biography on their lives.

I met both of my couples prior to working with them, just to make sure that I was content with the whole process. In my first egg donation, I recieved called during the medication process, and was told a pregnancy resulted - that was the end of contact.

With my second donation, I met the couple, and we also had phone contact during the meds. After the retrieval, the IF gave me a beautiful Candle inlaid with dried flowers.

I received a call from them on day 12, telling me that their surrogate was PG! They were so excited, that when I hung up, I cried from the sheer joy in their voices. I never expected to hear from them again, but they are the most wonderful people in the world, and have remained in contact with me to this day. This is not the usual outcome, but it has been so rewarding for me. By the way, they had twins:)

Lisa E - Updated: February 13, 2000

Unless stated otherwise, all responses in the SMO Q&A are courtesy of one or more of the following hosts:

Sherry - Experienced gestational surrogate currently working on her 2nd surrogacy arrangement

Linda - New Mommy to twins born via gestational surrogacy and egg donation

Jennifer S. - Experienced AI surrogate

Lynn - New Mommy to a daughter born via traditional surrogacy

Tracie - 5 time egg donor (triplets, 2 sets of twins and 2 singletons) and 3 time surrogate (2-AI, 1-IVF).

Lisa - Experienced egg donor and previous gestational surrogate currently working on her 2nd surrogacy arrangement (Lisa was our former ED host, prior to July 1999.)
Disclaimer: Responses from SMO Q&A Hosts do not necessarily represent the opinions and ideas of SMO. Neither the Q&A hosts nor SMO guarantee the accuracy or completeness of any information contained in the responses given here. As such, neither SMO nor the Q&A hosts are responsible for any errors or omissions or for the results obtained from the use of such information. Neither SMO nor the Q&A hosts shall be liable or responsible to any person or entity for any loss or damage caused, or alleged to have been caused, directly or indirectly by the information or ideas contained, suggested, or referenced in these responses.

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