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Surrogate Mothers Online Q & A

Q & A: Emotional Issues - Surrogacy Topics may include SM's feelings about parting with the baby after the birth, IM's feelings regarding not being able to carry the baby, etc 7. Have you ever had any doubts about giving the baby up after it is born? How did the hospital handle the situation? Did you have a lot of interaction with the baby in the hospital? Was the hospital good to the new parents? How long were you in the hospital? - Kristy in San Diego, CA - Top Dear Kristy, Did I ever have any doubts about giving up the baby? No. Never for one minute did I think I wanted that daughter I gave birth too! Her father let me know every minute after he found out she was a girl how grateful, happy and fulfilled he was about me giving him his daughter, his family. How did the hospital handle the situation?Unfortunately, we live in a small, conservative town and they didn't know what to do with me. We played it by ear. There was one nurse who was extremely rude and just hated what I had done. But, I was only there for 12 hours, so why did I care. My IF was treated like royality. It's because he's single and extremely good looking. All of the nurses were hitting on him. They sent him home with a three weeks supply of formula and five bags of diapers. Did I have a lot of interaction with the baby? I held my surrogate daughter three times. My husband held her about 500 times. He was more proud then I was. I wanted to rest and get home. So for the 12 hours that I was there, I had some interaction with her. I wanted to spend time with her father more then her. Was the hospital good to the new parents? Yes! Just let everyone know that this is your first memory with your new child and the last with your surrogate and that they can make it or break it. Write a letter to them and let them know all of the kindness they show will be much appreciated and this such a exciting event and you are glad they are helping you experience such a joyful time. That's what my IF did. How long were you in the hospital? I was there for 12 hours and the baby and daddy had to stay for 48 hours because our state has manditory PKU tests at 48 hours. So it was nice...I got to go back and visit my friend and his daughter. He hugged me and thanked me numerous times and I got to look at the family I created. All the beauty and joy, all the innocence and unconditional love that was shared made me feel like a million bucks! Just wanted to let you know, my surrogate daughter knew the minute she was born who her family was. When she cried and I tried soothing her, she didn't want me. She calmed down and was happy with her father. She knew. Children know where that happiness is coming from. Good Luck! I would like to encourage you to join the listserve here at SMO, its a great support network. Feel free to contact me anytime. Good Luck! Jennifer S., delivered a baby girl in June of 1998 - Updated: February 13, 2000

Unless stated otherwise, all responses in the SMO Q&A are courtesy of one or more of the following hosts: Sherry - Experienced gestational surrogate currently working on her 2nd surrogacy arrangement Linda - New Mommy to twins born via gestational surrogacy and egg donation Jennifer S. - Experienced AI surrogate Lynn - New Mommy to a daughter born via traditional surrogacy Tracie - 5 time egg donor (triplets, 2 sets of twins and 2 singletons) and 3 time surrogate (2-AI, 1-IVF). Lisa - Experienced egg donor and previous gestational surrogate currently working on her 2nd surrogacy arrangement (Lisa was our former ED host, prior to July 1999.) Disclaimer: Responses from SMO Q&A Hosts do not necessarily represent the opinions and ideas of SMO. Neither the Q&A hosts nor SMO guarantee the accuracy or completeness of any information contained in the responses given here. As such, neither SMO nor the Q&A hosts are responsible for any errors or omissions or for the results obtained from the use of such information. Neither SMO nor the Q&A hosts shall be liable or responsible to any person or entity for any loss or damage caused, or alleged to have been caused, directly or indirectly by the information or ideas contained, suggested, or referenced in these responses. Q&A Categories | Search Q&A's | Submit A Question | SMO Home Page