Surrogate Mothers Online Q & A: I am considering being a surrogate for friends of mine. I think my most difficult decision is whether I would be an AI or GS surrogate. I am single, 32, gay, and have never had children. I have just started back to graduate school and for many reasons do not want to raise a child of my own. I am finding a lot of information about GS, but very little about AI, their experiences, especially if they have no children. I would prefer AI, least complicated, without drugs,... etc. Any wisdom to share?

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Surrogate Mothers Online Q & A

Q & A: Just Starting Out - Surrogacy

For those just starting down the surrogacy path. Topics may include finding the right match, pros and cons of independent vs. agency, where to start, etc.

2. I am considering being a surrogate for friends of mine. I think my most difficult decision is whether I would be an AI or GS surrogate. I am single, 32, gay, and have never had children. I have just started back to graduate school and for many reasons do not want to raise a child of my own. I am finding a lot of information about GS, but very little about AI, their experiences, especially if they have no children. I would prefer AI, least complicated, without drugs,... etc. Any wisdom to share? - Mich in NY - Top

Mich,

The reason you aren't finding that much information about AI surrogacy is that GS surrogacy is just more common these days. Most women feel more comfortable carrying a child for someone else as long as there is no genetic
connection to the child they are carrying. I think this would be especially true in the situation where the surrogate has not had children of her own and therefore does not know how she would feel carrying a child at all. The
majority of surrogates have also finished their families. The reason behind this is, if something were to happen during the pregnancy that would prevent the surrogate from having any more pregnancies/children, how would that
affect her and her feelings for the child? It might be extremely difficult finding a doctor willing to work with you under these circumstances. But, I have also known people to do "home insems" which could be an option. You
have many things to think about.

I wish you and your friends the best of luck whatever your decision :)

Linda P
Mom of twins via surrogacy

We have a great amount of literature here on SMO in the Q & A's about AI surrogacy. It's a vast source of information. I however don't think it's good if you don't have children of your own to be an AI surrogate. And that is just my opinion. BUT there are some AIer's who don't have kids and have done it successfully. And I would go to your local library and read, read, and read. There are some great books out there. Good Luck.

Jennifer S. - Updated: April 17, 2000
For those just starting down the surrogacy path. Topics may include finding the right match, pros and cons of independent vs. agency, where to start, etc.

2. I am considering being a surrogate for friends of mine. I think my most difficult decision is whether I would be an AI or GS surrogate. I am single, 32, gay, and have never had children. I have just started back to graduate school and for many reasons do not want to raise a child of my own. I am finding a lot of information about GS, but very little about AI, their experiences, especially if they have no children. I would prefer AI, least complicated, without drugs,... etc. Any wisdom to share? - Mich in NY - Top: Mich,

The reason you aren't finding that much information about AI surrogacy is that GS surrogacy is just more common these days. Most women feel more comfortable carrying a child for someone else as long as there is no genetic
connection to the child they are carrying. I think this would be especially true in the situation where the surrogate has not had children of her own and therefore does not know how she would feel carrying a child at all. The
majority of surrogates have also finished their families. The reason behind this is, if something were to happen during the pregnancy that would prevent the surrogate from having any more pregnancies/children, how would that
affect her and her feelings for the child? It might be extremely difficult finding a doctor willing to work with you under these circumstances. But, I have also known people to do "home insems" which could be an option. You
have many things to think about.

I wish you and your friends the best of luck whatever your decision :)

Linda P
Mom of twins via surrogacy

We have a great amount of literature here on SMO in the Q & A's about AI surrogacy. It's a vast source of information. I however don't think it's good if you don't have children of your own to be an AI surrogate. And that is just my opinion. BUT there are some AIer's who don't have kids and have done it successfully. And I would go to your local library and read, read, and read. There are some great books out there. Good Luck.

Jennifer S. - Updated: April 17, 2000

Unless stated otherwise, all responses in the SMO Q&A are courtesy of one or more of the following hosts:

Sherry - Experienced gestational surrogate currently working on her 2nd surrogacy arrangement

Linda - New Mommy to twins born via gestational surrogacy and egg donation

Jennifer S. - Experienced AI surrogate

Lynn - New Mommy to a daughter born via traditional surrogacy

Tracie - 5 time egg donor (triplets, 2 sets of twins and 2 singletons) and 3 time surrogate (2-AI, 1-IVF).

Lisa - Experienced egg donor and previous gestational surrogate currently working on her 2nd surrogacy arrangement (Lisa was our former ED host, prior to July 1999.)
Disclaimer: Responses from SMO Q&A Hosts do not necessarily represent the opinions and ideas of SMO. Neither the Q&A hosts nor SMO guarantee the accuracy or completeness of any information contained in the responses given here. As such, neither SMO nor the Q&A hosts are responsible for any errors or omissions or for the results obtained from the use of such information. Neither SMO nor the Q&A hosts shall be liable or responsible to any person or entity for any loss or damage caused, or alleged to have been caused, directly or indirectly by the information or ideas contained, suggested, or referenced in these responses.

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