Surrogate Mothers Online Q & A: My brother-in-law and sister-in-law just found out thatIVF didn't work for them (of 22 eggs harvested, only 4 were viable and she didn't end up pg). I have had discussions with my sis-in-law about being a traditional surrage and she is in favor of it. My brother-in-law didn't like the idea, but that was before they tried IVF. He is 33 and she is 37. I am 29, have three beautiful daughters and want to help them have a child. Is there anything I can say or do to help my brother-in-law consider surrogacy?

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Surrogate Mothers Online Q & A

Q & A: Just Starting Out - Surrogacy

For those just starting down the surrogacy path. Topics may include finding the right match, pros and cons of independent vs. agency, where to start, etc.

9. My brother-in-law and sister-in-law just found out thatIVF didn't work for them (of 22 eggs harvested, only 4 were viable and she didn't end up pg). I have had discussions with my sis-in-law about being a traditional surrage and she is in favor of it. My brother-in-law didn't like the idea, but that was before they tried IVF. He is 33 and she is 37. I am 29, have three beautiful daughters and want to help them have a child. Is there anything I can say or do to help my brother-in-law consider surrogacy? - Cindy in OH - Top

Cindy,

All you can do is offer to be their surrogate they are going to have to decide if this is what they want for them selves. It is wonderful that you want to help your sister this way but until your brother in law is comfortable with it you should not persue it. Give them both some time to
grieve the loss of their fertility and just let your sister know that you are there for her. Tell her you are willing to be their surrogate and if
they ever wnat to discuss it to let you know. Then leave it to them.

Lynn

Cindy,

Hi! I have done a traditional surrogacy. If your
brother in law has any questions, he is free to call me and ask. I would suggest going over to the library and checking out all the positive books on surrogacy and letting him read it. And here on SMO there are some birth annnouncements I would print up all of those, and show him that they are positive and work. They are really quite moving.

Good Luck,
Jennifer S. - Updated: February 13, 2000
For those just starting down the surrogacy path. Topics may include finding the right match, pros and cons of independent vs. agency, where to start, etc.

9. My brother-in-law and sister-in-law just found out thatIVF didn't work for them (of 22 eggs harvested, only 4 were viable and she didn't end up pg). I have had discussions with my sis-in-law about being a traditional surrage and she is in favor of it. My brother-in-law didn't like the idea, but that was before they tried IVF. He is 33 and she is 37. I am 29, have three beautiful daughters and want to help them have a child. Is there anything I can say or do to help my brother-in-law consider surrogacy? - Cindy in OH - Top: Cindy,

All you can do is offer to be their surrogate they are going to have to decide if this is what they want for them selves. It is wonderful that you want to help your sister this way but until your brother in law is comfortable with it you should not persue it. Give them both some time to
grieve the loss of their fertility and just let your sister know that you are there for her. Tell her you are willing to be their surrogate and if
they ever wnat to discuss it to let you know. Then leave it to them.

Lynn

Cindy,

Hi! I have done a traditional surrogacy. If your
brother in law has any questions, he is free to call me and ask. I would suggest going over to the library and checking out all the positive books on surrogacy and letting him read it. And here on SMO there are some birth annnouncements I would print up all of those, and show him that they are positive and work. They are really quite moving.

Good Luck,
Jennifer S. - Updated: February 13, 2000

Unless stated otherwise, all responses in the SMO Q&A are courtesy of one or more of the following hosts:

Sherry - Experienced gestational surrogate currently working on her 2nd surrogacy arrangement

Linda - New Mommy to twins born via gestational surrogacy and egg donation

Jennifer S. - Experienced AI surrogate

Lynn - New Mommy to a daughter born via traditional surrogacy

Tracie - 5 time egg donor (triplets, 2 sets of twins and 2 singletons) and 3 time surrogate (2-AI, 1-IVF).

Lisa - Experienced egg donor and previous gestational surrogate currently working on her 2nd surrogacy arrangement (Lisa was our former ED host, prior to July 1999.)
Disclaimer: Responses from SMO Q&A Hosts do not necessarily represent the opinions and ideas of SMO. Neither the Q&A hosts nor SMO guarantee the accuracy or completeness of any information contained in the responses given here. As such, neither SMO nor the Q&A hosts are responsible for any errors or omissions or for the results obtained from the use of such information. Neither SMO nor the Q&A hosts shall be liable or responsible to any person or entity for any loss or damage caused, or alleged to have been caused, directly or indirectly by the information or ideas contained, suggested, or referenced in these responses.

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