Surrogate Mothers Online Q & A: My best friend due to an undiagnosed illness was recommended by her doctor not to become pregnant. This came as a crushing blow. Being her best friend, I decided to help her in her quest to become a mom. I do not know where to begin. I know that the gestational surrogacy is the type of IVF that we would be doing, but what are the costs? What are the drawbacks? How much time would be lost, work-wise? Is there a specific question that I should be asking? I know that any negative points will not deter my decision, but I just would like as much info on this as possible. Thank you. - <a href="mailto:GLOBLCHICA@AOL.COM/GLOBALCHICA@PRODIGY.NET">Elle</a> in Miami, FL

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Surrogate Mothers Online Q & A

Q & A: Just Starting Out - Surrogacy

For those just starting down the surrogacy path. Topics may include finding the right match, pros and cons of independent vs. agency, where to start, etc.

23. My best friend due to an undiagnosed illness was recommended by her doctor not to become pregnant. This came as a crushing blow. Being her best friend, I decided to help her in her quest to become a mom. I do not know where to begin. I know that the gestational surrogacy is the type of IVF that we would be doing, but what are the costs? What are the drawbacks? How much time would be lost, work-wise? Is there a specific question that I should be asking? I know that any negative points will not deter my decision, but I just would like as much info on this as possible. Thank you. - Elle in Miami, FL - Top

The costs of IVF and gestational surrogacy include the egg retrieval/transfer (average approximately $10,000), legal fees for a contract (necessary even though you are friends! although you could possibly draw one up yourselves using the sample in the SMO "articles" section as a template) and for the parentage declaration or step-parent adoption (our parentage action was about $3,000). Also, even though you are (I assume) being a compassionate (no fee) surrogate, all your expenses (medical, clothing, travel, etc.) should be covered by your friend.

Time lost -- for an IVF cycle, there are doctors who have early morning or evening appointments so you would not have to lose time off work while being monitored to determine the optimal time to transfer the embryos (can be daily closer to transfer). Average "bed rest" time following the transfer is 2-3 days. Thereafter, light activity until the pregnancy test (usually 2 weeks after transfer). If pregnant, you would have the same restrictions (or not) as if this were any other "normal" pregnancy. Twins, of course, require more rest towards the end to enable them to be brought to full term. I would suggest if you are unwilling to carry more than twins to limit the number of embryos transferred to 2.

I would read the articles on SMO and also look up information about IVF procedures as well to find our more about the procedures involved.

Best wishes,

Linda P
Mom of twins via donor egg and gestational surrogacy - Updated: January 14, 2000
For those just starting down the surrogacy path. Topics may include finding the right match, pros and cons of independent vs. agency, where to start, etc.

23. My best friend due to an undiagnosed illness was recommended by her doctor not to become pregnant. This came as a crushing blow. Being her best friend, I decided to help her in her quest to become a mom. I do not know where to begin. I know that the gestational surrogacy is the type of IVF that we would be doing, but what are the costs? What are the drawbacks? How much time would be lost, work-wise? Is there a specific question that I should be asking? I know that any negative points will not deter my decision, but I just would like as much info on this as possible. Thank you. - Elle in Miami, FL - Top: The costs of IVF and gestational surrogacy include the egg retrieval/transfer (average approximately $10,000), legal fees for a contract (necessary even though you are friends! although you could possibly draw one up yourselves using the sample in the SMO "articles" section as a template) and for the parentage declaration or step-parent adoption (our parentage action was about $3,000). Also, even though you are (I assume) being a compassionate (no fee) surrogate, all your expenses (medical, clothing, travel, etc.) should be covered by your friend.

Time lost -- for an IVF cycle, there are doctors who have early morning or evening appointments so you would not have to lose time off work while being monitored to determine the optimal time to transfer the embryos (can be daily closer to transfer). Average "bed rest" time following the transfer is 2-3 days. Thereafter, light activity until the pregnancy test (usually 2 weeks after transfer). If pregnant, you would have the same restrictions (or not) as if this were any other "normal" pregnancy. Twins, of course, require more rest towards the end to enable them to be brought to full term. I would suggest if you are unwilling to carry more than twins to limit the number of embryos transferred to 2.

I would read the articles on SMO and also look up information about IVF procedures as well to find our more about the procedures involved.

Best wishes,

Linda P
Mom of twins via donor egg and gestational surrogacy - Updated: January 14, 2000

Unless stated otherwise, all responses in the SMO Q&A are courtesy of one or more of the following hosts:

Sherry - Experienced gestational surrogate currently working on her 2nd surrogacy arrangement

Linda - New Mommy to twins born via gestational surrogacy and egg donation

Jennifer S. - Experienced AI surrogate

Lynn - New Mommy to a daughter born via traditional surrogacy

Tracie - 5 time egg donor (triplets, 2 sets of twins and 2 singletons) and 3 time surrogate (2-AI, 1-IVF).

Lisa - Experienced egg donor and previous gestational surrogate currently working on her 2nd surrogacy arrangement (Lisa was our former ED host, prior to July 1999.)
Disclaimer: Responses from SMO Q&A Hosts do not necessarily represent the opinions and ideas of SMO. Neither the Q&A hosts nor SMO guarantee the accuracy or completeness of any information contained in the responses given here. As such, neither SMO nor the Q&A hosts are responsible for any errors or omissions or for the results obtained from the use of such information. Neither SMO nor the Q&A hosts shall be liable or responsible to any person or entity for any loss or damage caused, or alleged to have been caused, directly or indirectly by the information or ideas contained, suggested, or referenced in these responses.

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