Surrogate Mothers Online Q & A: I have talked to several couples. I have always left the door open and tried not to pass judgment on them. Sometimes I get the feeling that we aren't clicking. Yet they still want to pursue an arrangement. One couple wants to send me a contract. How do you delicately tell them that you aren't interested in working with them? There are many reasons. Do I tell them why or just let them know that I am not interested? HELP.... How do you say this and not hurt someone?

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Surrogate Mothers Online Q & A

Q & A: Just Starting Out - Surrogacy

For those just starting down the surrogacy path. Topics may include finding the right match, pros and cons of independent vs. agency, where to start, etc.

34. I have talked to several couples. I have always left the door open and tried not to pass judgment on them. Sometimes I get the feeling that we aren't clicking. Yet they still want to pursue an arrangement. One couple wants to send me a contract. How do you delicately tell them that you aren't interested in working with them? There are many reasons. Do I tell them why or just let them know that I am not interested? HELP.... How do you say this and not hurt someone? - Anonymous - Top

Hi,

Well, since you have left this wide open I would just be upfront and honest with them. Tell them you have spoken to several couples and that you wish them luck and that you found another set that you decided to work with. You can either tell them a couple of reasons such as distance or any differences you may have that you two didn't agree on. I hope this helps.

Sherry - Updated: January 14, 2000
For those just starting down the surrogacy path. Topics may include finding the right match, pros and cons of independent vs. agency, where to start, etc.

34. I have talked to several couples. I have always left the door open and tried not to pass judgment on them. Sometimes I get the feeling that we aren't clicking. Yet they still want to pursue an arrangement. One couple wants to send me a contract. How do you delicately tell them that you aren't interested in working with them? There are many reasons. Do I tell them why or just let them know that I am not interested? HELP.... How do you say this and not hurt someone? - Anonymous - Top: Hi,

Well, since you have left this wide open I would just be upfront and honest with them. Tell them you have spoken to several couples and that you wish them luck and that you found another set that you decided to work with. You can either tell them a couple of reasons such as distance or any differences you may have that you two didn't agree on. I hope this helps.

Sherry - Updated: January 14, 2000

Unless stated otherwise, all responses in the SMO Q&A are courtesy of one or more of the following hosts:

Sherry - Experienced gestational surrogate currently working on her 2nd surrogacy arrangement

Linda - New Mommy to twins born via gestational surrogacy and egg donation

Jennifer S. - Experienced AI surrogate

Lynn - New Mommy to a daughter born via traditional surrogacy

Tracie - 5 time egg donor (triplets, 2 sets of twins and 2 singletons) and 3 time surrogate (2-AI, 1-IVF).

Lisa - Experienced egg donor and previous gestational surrogate currently working on her 2nd surrogacy arrangement (Lisa was our former ED host, prior to July 1999.)
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